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Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages? v.39

Various authorities claim that it is finer for the pupils to initiate learning an overseas language at the primary school level as compared to the secondary school level. This essay will support that the merits of learning a remote language at initial education level outweigh the demerits. If children become aware of an overseas language along with their local language at initial ages, they will have a lot of confidence at the age of adulthood and they will not face any difficulty while communicating with foreign people. The students, who have learned a remote language in the primary school, will be very fluent with this language as well and they will not face any difficulty if they apply for a job in any foreign company. For instance almost all of the Pakistani students, who have got the admission in the Oxford university, have learned the overseas language at their primary school. Depite the advantages, learning to a foreign language at primary school also has its demerits. The children face a lot of pressure and burden on their mind. Consequently it can lead to many issues such as depression and weakness etc. In addition, the children start hating their mother tongue. For instance, children leaning to english language at primary ages wish to get admission in the university of that particular country. In conclusion, studying an overseas language at initial school age is far more better than learning it at secondary level because it will increase confidence and also lead the children towards success
Various authorities claim that it is finer for the pupils to initiate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
overseas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
primary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
level
as compared to the secondary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
level
. This essay will support that the merits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
a remote
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
at initial education
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
level
outweigh the demerits.

If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
become aware of an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
overseas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
along with their local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
at initial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ages
, they will have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
confidence at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
of
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
adulthood and
they will not face any difficulty while communicating with foreign
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. The students, who have learned a remote
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
primary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
, will be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
fluent with this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
as
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
well and
they will not face any difficulty if they apply for a job in any foreign
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
.
For instance
almost
Consider using “all the”.
all of the
Pakistani students, who have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
the admission in the Oxford university, have learned the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
overseas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
at their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
primary
school.

Possible spelling mistake found.
Depite
the advantages,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
to a foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
primary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
also
has its demerits. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
face
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
pressure and burden on their mind.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Consequently
it can lead to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
issues such as depression and weakness etc.
In addition
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
hating their mother tongue.
For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
leaning to
Possible spelling mistake found.
english
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
primary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ages
wish to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
admission in the university of that particular country.

In conclusion
, studying an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
overseas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
at initial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
is far
Use only “better” (without ‘more’) when you use the comparative.
more better
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
it at secondary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
level
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it will increase confidence and
also
lead the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
towards success

IELTS essay Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
252 words
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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  • Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages? v.39