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Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages? v.34

Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages? v. 34
Quit a few specialists said that it tends to be better to start learning a new language when one is studying in the primary instead of secondary school. This essay will argue that the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages, in addition to that will first demonstrate the main reason children should learn a foreign idiom in the primary school, followed by an analysis of why teenagers have more difficulties in learn it in the secondary. Learning a foreign language in early childhood provides the best way to absorb the maximum information. In order words, even though children are not mature enough to master that knowledge, whereas recording it into their memory will have worked as a natural sponge which receive, retain, and reproduce what they had learned. Furthermore a child uses their own methodology without a dear of to make any mistake or the ridiculous feeling of doing so. For example, some academic articles reveal that the majority of migrants who come into the UK, when they were children had learnt English much more easily than their older singling. However, the secondary students have been learning a foreign language by focusing their efforts on the method, discipline and dedication. Thus teenager whether feels frustrated or unhappy every time they cannot retain and/or reproducing as quickly as they expected. It is thought that even though the have a potentiality to learn it, in these days they have more distractions such as computer games or it is the time when they discover the first love. For instance, despite the fact that there are many authors who highlight the reason of students in this age are more receptive to deal with the challenge of their daily life, such as body change and conflicts among friends and families. To sum up, clearly, there are more benefits of this outweigh the drawbacks, because of both features attention and effort has been differently approached by children from primary school and teenagers from secondary. Obviously, learning a foreign language in the earliest times will contribute significantly to help to increase one adaptation of the new reality.
Quit a few specialists said that it tends to be better to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
learning a new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
when one is studying in the primary
instead
of secondary school. This essay will argue that the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages,
in addition
to that will
first
demonstrate the main reason
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should learn a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
idiom in the primary school, followed by an analysis of why
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
have more difficulties in learn it in the secondary.

Learning a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
in early childhood provides the best way to absorb the maximum information. In order words,
even though
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are not mature
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to master that knowledge, whereas recording it into their memory will have worked as a natural sponge which receive, retain, and reproduce what they had learned.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Furthermore
a child
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
uses
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
methodology without a dear of to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
any mistake or the ridiculous feeling of doing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
academic articles reveal that the majority of migrants who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
into the UK, when they were
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
had
Possible spelling mistake. 'learnt' is British English.
learnt
English much more
easily
than their older singling.

However
, the secondary students have been learning a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
by focusing their efforts on the method, discipline and dedication.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Thus
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenager
whether feels frustrated or unhappy every time they cannot retain and/or reproducing as
quickly
as they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
. It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
that
even though
the have a potentiality to learn it, in these days they have more distractions such as computer games or it is the time when they discover the
first
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
.
For instance
, despite the fact that there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
authors who highlight the reason of students in this age are more receptive to deal with the challenge of their daily life, such as body
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
and conflicts among friends and families.

To sum up,
clearly
, there are more benefits of this outweigh the drawbacks,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of both features attention and effort has been
differently
approached by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
from primary school and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
from secondary.
Obviously
, learning a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
in the earliest times will contribute
significantly
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to increase one adaptation of the new reality.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
Language is the blood of the soul into which thoughts run and out of which they grow.
Oliver Wendell Holmes

IELTS essay Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages? v. 34

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
350 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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