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Environmental protection is the responsibility of politicians not individuals as individuals can do too little. To what extent do you agree or disagree. v.4

Environmental protection is the responsibility of politicians not individuals as individuals can do too little. v. 4
There is an argument that only the politicians have the power to address the environmental issues that are posing serious threats to the world today as there is nothing much that individuals can do about this problem. Personally, while I agree that the government should be responsible for environmental issues to some extent, I still believe that individuals need to protect the surroundings to bring the better impacts. On the one hand, the government is undoubtedly responsible to invest money in alternative resources to protect the status. Firstly, focusing on exploiting solar, wind energy is an ideal action for the surroundings protection instead of using fossil fuels. In fact, these sources are truly renewable energy which is available every day and likely able to be used without leading the depletion of natural sources. Secondly, politicians should adopt laws strictly on using public transportation to reduce private vehicles. In addition, the more cars are used, the more emission released into the air, which causes damage to the earth’s average temperatures. For example, in Europe, governments are now introducing a policy to decline the energy consumption, thus every person allowed to seriously cut down the electricity in the rush hour or in the unnecessary time. On the other hand, individuals raise their awareness of environmental problems to understand what future risks will happen if the environment is not being protected. There are several ways to gain public awareness is to organize propaganda for the environmental individual solutions like promoting the public campaign on the streets, at the mall and so on. This means that overspend or overconsumption will be significantly decreased day by day, which the solid waste generation rates declined and the environment is in the proper protection. For instance, while shopping in the supermarket, people should bring their own cloth bags or use the renewable bags in place of plastic bags as much as possible because by doing that, we can reduce a huge amounts of toxic waste. In conclusion, not only the government, but also the individuals must together protect the environment and tackle the actual situation happening with our nature.
There is an argument that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the politicians have the power to address the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
issues that are posing serious threats to the world
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
as there is nothing much that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
can do about this problem.
Personally
, while I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should be responsible for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
issues to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent, I
still
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
need to protect the surroundings to bring the better impacts.

On the one hand, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
is
undoubtedly
responsible to invest money in alternative resources to protect the status.
Firstly
, focusing on exploiting solar, wind energy is an ideal action for the
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "surroundings'" or "surrounding's"?
surroundings
protection
instead
of using fossil fuels. In fact, these sources are
truly
renewable energy which is available every day and likely able to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
without leading the depletion of natural sources.
Secondly
, politicians should adopt laws
strictly
on using public transportation to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
private vehicles.
In addition
, the more cars are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
, the more emission released into the air, which causes damage to the earth’s average temperatures.
For example
, in Europe,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
introducing a policy to decline the energy consumption,
thus
every person
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to
seriously
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
down the electricity in the rush hour or in the unnecessary time.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
raise their awareness of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
problems to understand what future
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
will happen if the environment is not
being protected
. There are several ways to gain public awareness is to organize propaganda for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
solutions like promoting the public campaign on the streets, at the mall and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on. This means that overspend or overconsumption will be
significantly
decreased day by day, which the solid waste generation rates declined and the environment is in the proper protection.
For instance
, while shopping in the supermarket,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
should bring their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
cloth bags or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the renewable bags in place of plastic bags as much as possible
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
by doing that, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
a huge
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "amount"?
amounts
of toxic waste.

In conclusion
, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
together protect the environment and tackle the actual situation happening with our nature.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Environmental protection is the responsibility of politicians not individuals as individuals can do too little. v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
352 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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