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Nowadays longer distances are travelled by people to work and study on a daily basis. Some consider it to be a negative development, while others disagree. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. v.1

Nowadays longer distances are travelled by people to work and study on a daily basis. Some consider it to be a negative development, while others disagree. v. 1
In the present modern world, some people travel long distances for working or studying. Some believed that this is a negative progress, whereas others argue that has positive aspects. I think that these people can gain positive developments in several things by taking long distance travelling for work and study. However, in this essay I will discuss about both arguments. On one hand, if people go to a place far away from their hometown for studying and working, they might involve in some negative issues. Their life may become harder because they are far away from their families and friends and therefore, can’t receive their supports in many aspects, for example economical and emotional problems. They force to deal with their problems on their own and also they might face with some hardships and difficulties in their commutes. In the other hand, in some places there aren’t suitable situations for work and study and these places haven’t a developmental future. The more advanced place is, the more people can progress. Therefore, some people go to other places with more facilities and possibilities so that development in several prospects. This travelling can have two main positive effects. Firstly, when they are in a developed place they can earn achievements and triumphs more easily and also can improve and promote their skills and abilities such as financial, educational and cultural developments which it can in turn develop the society. Secondly, they become more familiar with other cultures and their personality in terms of socialization and communication will be grown up. In conclusion, some believe travelling to other places with long distance have a negative influence and others don’t believe. However, I think that this cause people to develop in many positive aspects and its benefits are more than its drawbacks.
In the present modern world,
some
people
travel long distances for working or studying.
Some
believed that this is a
negative
progress, whereas others argue that has
positive
aspects. I
think
that these
people
can gain
positive
developments in several things by taking long distance travelling for work and study.
However
, in this essay I will
discuss about both
arguments.

On one hand, if
people
go to a
place
far away from their hometown for studying and working, they might involve in
some
negative
issues. Their life may become harder
because
they are far away from their families and friends and
therefore
, can’t receive their supports in
many
aspects,
for example
economical and emotional problems. They force
to deal
with their problems on their
own
and
also
they might face with
some
hardships and difficulties in their commutes.

In the
other
hand, in
some
places
there aren’t suitable situations for work and study and these
places
haven’t a developmental future. The more advanced
place
is, the more
people
can progress.
Therefore
,
some
people
go to
other
places
with more facilities and possibilities
so
that development in several prospects. This travelling can have two main
positive
effects.
Firstly
, when they are in a developed
place
they can earn achievements and triumphs more
easily
and
also
can
improve
and promote their
skills
and abilities such as financial, educational and cultural developments which it can in turn develop the society.
Secondly
, they become more familiar with
other
cultures and their personality in terms of socialization and communication will
be grown
up.

In conclusion
,
some
believe travelling to
other
places
with long distance have a
negative
influence
and others
don’t believe.
However
, I
think
that this cause
people
to develop in
many
positive
aspects and its benefits are more than its drawbacks.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Nowadays longer distances are travelled by people to work and study on a daily basis. Some consider it to be a negative development, while others disagree. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
298 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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