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Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages? v.29

Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages? v. 29
It is true that children are the best age to learn a foreign language. I believe that there are more advantages than disadvantages. On the one hand, learning languages at primary age exerts manifold negative impacts on children. Firstly, other subjects is more important at that age, such as sciences, mathematics and mother tongue word which will be essential for them in the future. Secondly, learning a foreign language is confusing and wastes time, especially for children who are not really smart and hardworking. They squander a considerable amount of time on learning without a full attention. Consequently, they frequently feel fatigued. Moreover, it could delay the development of child’s first wording. The reason is the early exposure to foreign word. On the other hand, children at elementary school fast learn foreign dialect compared to adolescents by virtue of being less self-conscious or shy and picking up the pronunciation better. For example, some developed countries have been implementing the bilingual language in the primary school's curriculum for decades, and most of children can speak the second speech as well as their native speech. Besides, they enjoy copying and learning through foreign songs, games and cartoons which really pique their curiosity. Also, nowadays languages are just as important as maths, sciences and so on. For instance, English is an international speech in which over one billion of people all over the world is communicating, thus, learning English can open the door to broaden their horizons. In conclusion, I would argue that the benefits of learning a foreign dialect at primary school outweigh the drawbacks.
It is true that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are the best age to learn a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
. I believe that there are more advantages than disadvantages.

On the one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
at primary age exerts manifold
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
Firstly
, other subjects is more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
at that age, such as sciences, mathematics and mother tongue word which will be essential for them in the future.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
is confusing and wastes time,
especially
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
who are not
really
smart and hardworking. They squander a considerable amount of time on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
without a full attention.
Consequently
, they
frequently
feel fatigued.
Moreover
, it could delay the development of child’s
first
wording. The reason is the early exposure to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
word.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
at elementary school
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
learn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
dialect compared to adolescents by virtue of being less self-conscious or shy and picking up the pronunciation better.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developed countries
have been implementing the bilingual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
in the primary school's curriculum for decades, and most of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can speak the second speech
as well
as their native speech.
Besides
, they enjoy copying and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
songs, games and cartoons which
really
pique their curiosity.
Also
, nowadays
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
as
Possible spelling mistake. 'maths' is British English.
maths
, sciences and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.
For instance
, English is an international speech in which over one billion of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
all over the world is communicating,
thus
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
English can open the door to broaden their horizons.

In conclusion
, I would argue that the benefits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
dialect at primary school outweigh the drawbacks.
14Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
22Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages? v. 29

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
263 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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