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There have been some problems with the public transport you use to commute daily. Write a letter to the manager of the public transport company. In your letter • Describe the problems • Explain how these problems are affecting you and others • Suggest what could be done about it v.1

There have been some problems with the public transport you use to commute daily. Write a letter to the manager of the public transport company. In your letter • Describe the problems • Explain how these problems are affecting you and others • Suggest what could be done about it v. 1
Dear Manager of public transport I am really sorry for writing the letter, but hereby I would like to inform you about the public transport of your company. Well, I have some problems with your transportation; First, the driver always comes to pick up late. The second, the bench reservation is always wrong. I would like to tell you about the reason why, the driver always comes late. It was because the flat tire, the engine broke, the break did not work properly. So mechanic takes tike to repair it, and that took a long term. In this case, for instance, I need to go to my destination, and should arrive in time. Because I must attend an opening of a conference in point. The second, is about bench reservation. I few times booked for seat number 5, however, on the departure day, I got seat number 8. That was very inconvenient. I use to get dizzy and make me throw up. Further, it Influenced me more. Therefore, when I arrived in the city, I almost could not attend the conference. Therefore, I would like to tell you some suggestions; Firstly, as a manager, you should work with your mechanics, if it is needed, please make a list form to check whether the condition of the bus is healthy. The engineer should make sure about it at least a day before departure time. Secondly, you need to control your reservation staff, to make sure that they work with a high concentration so that, they are right to book the passengere's seat as required. Thank you for your attention, I hope your company will serve better in the future. Best regards Santy
Dear Manager of public transport

I am
really
sorry for writing the letter,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
hereby I would like to inform you about the public transport of your
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
. Well, I have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
problems with your transportation;
First
, the driver always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to pick up late. The second, the bench reservation is always
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
.

I would like to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
you about the reason why, the driver always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
late. It was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the flat tire, the engine broke, the break did not work
properly
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
mechanic takes
Possible spelling mistake found.
tike
to repair it, and that took a long term.
In this case
,
for instance
, I need to go to my destination, and should arrive in time.
“Because” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Because
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
attend an opening of a conference in point.

The second, is about bench reservation. I few times booked for seat number 5,
however
, on the departure day, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
seat number 8. That was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
inconvenient. I
Make sure that 'use to' is correct. For habitual actions in the past or to mean 'accustomed to', use "used to".
use to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
dizzy and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
me throw up.
Further
, it Influenced me more.
Therefore
, when I arrived in the city, I almost could not attend the conference.

Therefore
, I would like to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
suggestions;
Firstly
, as a manager, you should work with your mechanics, if it
is needed
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
please
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
a list form to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
whether the condition of the bus is healthy. The engineer should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
sure about it at least a day
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
departure time.
Secondly
, you need to control your reservation staff, to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
sure that they work with a high concentration
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that, they are right to book the
Possible spelling mistake found.
passengere
's seat as required.

Thank you for your attention, I hope your
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
will serve better in the future.

Best regards

Possible spelling mistake found.
Santy
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes
Language is not a genetic gift, it is a social gift. Learning a new language is becoming a member of the club – the community of speakers of that language.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay There have been some problems with the public transport you use to commute daily. Write a letter to the manager of the public transport company. In your letter • Describe the problems • Explain how these problems are affecting you and others • Suggest what could be done about it v. 1

Essay
  American English
7 paragraphs
280 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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