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Modern appliances are helpful to humans agree or diasgree? v.1

Modern appliances are helpful to humans agree or diasgree? v. 1
Home appliances with a modern touch has a greater demand than the traditional ones. It is widely believed that having modernised home appliances reduces human work and thus provide a better lifestyle. I completely agree with this point of view, as I believe programmed home electronics can finish a work without human involvement, while also triggering a safety switch when required. This essay will discuss in detail. Firstly, home appliances can reduce human work. This is because, they are programmed to perform various tasks in a given time and can also be controlled via a remote. For instance, a modern vacuum cleaner can be turned on and it starts cleaning the entire house automatically and shuts down when the job is done. Although, it requires little involvement from humans like removing dust bags, and replacing them, it can perform required tasks and leaving us enough time to work on something else. Although, these appliances are handy, they can be dangerous at certain levels. This is because, human tend to forget when involved in other work. Hence, safety features are added to shut a device on its own when a job is done or tó avoid any further consequences. For instance, vacuum cleaners can sometimes suck tiny metal objects which burst the dust bags inside and cause severe damage. To avoid these some safety switches are added, which detect tiny metal objects and warns human and shut the vacuum off. These safety switches triggers automatically without any human involvement and hence giving us a piece of mind. In conclusion, modernised home appliances can improve our lifestyle in many ways by reducing our workload and also providing us safety. .
Home
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
appliances
with a modern touch has a greater demand than the traditional ones. It is
widely
believed that having
Possible spelling mistake. 'modernised' is British English.
modernised
home
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
appliances
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduces
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and
thus
provide a better lifestyle. I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this point of view, as I believe programmed home electronics can finish a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
involvement, while
also
triggering a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
safety
switch when required. This essay will discuss in detail.

Firstly
, home
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
appliances
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
, they
are programmed
to perform various tasks in a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
time and can
also
be controlled
via a remote.
For instance
, a modern vacuum cleaner can
be turned
on and it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
starts
cleaning the entire
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
automatically
and shuts down when the job
is done
. Although, it requires
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
involvement from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
like removing dust bags, and replacing them, it can perform required tasks and leaving us
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
time to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
on something else.

Although, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
appliances
are handy, they can be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
at certain levels. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
tend to forget when involved in other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
.
Hence
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
safety
features are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
to shut a device on its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
when a job
is done
or
Possible spelling mistake found.
tó
avoid any
further
consequences.
For instance
, vacuum cleaners can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
suck tiny metal objects which burst the dust bags inside and cause severe damage. To avoid these
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
safety
switches are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
, which detect tiny metal objects and warns
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
and shut the vacuum off. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
safety
switches triggers
automatically
without any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
involvement and
hence
giving us a piece of mind.

In conclusion
,
Possible spelling mistake. 'modernised' is British English.
modernised
home
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
appliances
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
our lifestyle in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ways by reducing our workload and
also
providing us
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
safety
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
22Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
Language is to the mind more than light is to the eye.
William Gibson

IELTS essay Modern appliances are helpful to humans agree or diasgree? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
278 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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