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Some environmentalists have advocated building wildlife sanctuaries to protect endangered species. Discuss the Advantages and disadvantages of doing this v.1

Some environmentalists have advocated building wildlife sanctuaries to protect endangered species. Discuss the Advantages and disadvantages of doing this v. 1
Many ecologist have supported for developing animals national park to safeguard rare species. Firstly, this essay will discusses on advantages and then disadvantages of this phenomenon. On the one hand, the main advantage of preserving wild animals is that to support nature to have the existence of the food chain cycle. Eventually, wildlife also supports ing nature above and beyond for the ecosystem. Moreover, all the animals are very important to our ecosystem. If there is a chance of disappearance in of one of them that is herbivores, carnivores and omnivores, the other gets over populated and affects the food chain life. So it is very important to safe wildlife to keep our ecosystem healthy and safely. For example, if carnivores disappears, then herbivores & omnivores gets overpopulated because animals eat other animals like carnivore and omnivore are so important to ecosystem to keep the other species from getting over populated. On the other hand, the main disadvantage of building wildlife sanctuary is that threat to human life. Sanctuaries are to be maintained and monitored at in a frequent interval. Furthermore, one has have to take a population count for each animals and has have to take necessary action if found any abnormalities are found else, animals start entering human settlements in to living area due to food scarcity and humans cannot live their life peacefully. For instance, Jurassic park movie where dinosaurs population increased without the knowledge of the scientist and resulted in danger to humans life danger. To conclude, developing wildlife sanctuaries to save the endangered species is very important for the food chain life and to support eco system. Which is more advantage than the disadvantage.
Possible agreement error. The noun ecologist seems to be countable; consider using: "Many ecologists".
Many ecologist
have supported for developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
national park to safeguard rare species.
Firstly
, this essay will
The verb 'will' requires the base form of the verb: "discuss"
discusses
on advantages and then disadvantages of this phenomenon.

On the one hand, the main advantage of preserving wild
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
is that to support nature to have the existence of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
chain cycle.
Eventually
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wildlife
also
Possible spelling mistake found.
supports ing
nature above and beyond for the ecosystem.
Moreover
, all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
to our ecosystem. If there is a chance of disappearance in of one of them
that is
herbivores, carnivores and omnivores, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
over populated and affects the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
chain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
to safe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wildlife
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
our ecosystem healthy and
safely
.
For example
, if carnivores disappears, then herbivores & omnivores
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
overpopulated
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
eat
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
like carnivore and omnivore are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
to ecosystem to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
species from getting over populated.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, the main disadvantage of building
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wildlife
sanctuary is that threat to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. Sanctuaries are to
be maintained
and monitored at in a frequent interval.
Furthermore
, one has
Use past participle here: "had".
have
to take a population count for each
The noun should be probably in the singular form: "animal"?
animals
and has
Use past participle here: "had".
have
to take necessary action if found any abnormalities
are found
else,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
entering
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
settlements in to living area due to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
scarcity and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
peacefully
.
For instance
,
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
Jurassic park
movie where dinosaurs population increased without the knowledge of the scientist and resulted in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
.

To conclude
, developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wildlife
sanctuaries to save the endangered species is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
chain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and to support
This word is normally spelled as one.
eco system
.
“Which” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Which
is more advantage than the disadvantage.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
32Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Mistakes
As a hawk flieth not high with one wing, even so a man reacheth not to excellence with one tongue.
Roger Ascham

IELTS essay Some environmentalists have advocated building wildlife sanctuaries to protect endangered species. Discuss the Advantages and disadvantages of doing this v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
279 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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