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In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this case? What can be done about this problem? v.6

In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this case? What can be done about this problem? v. 6
In the current era, the Agriculture industry is one of the booming sectors across the globe because of the use of modern technology in growing the crops. However, despite of the more agricultural produce, numerous people in many regions cannot have food. In this essay, i shall discuss the reason behind this problem and the actions should take to solve this issue. First of all, nowadays many farmers are making use of latest technologies and changed the way they are farming rather than following the traditional methods of farming, as a result of which the agricultural produce is more worldwide and helps in generating employment opportunities as well. However, the large amount of population worldwide still living below the poverty lines and don't have food for living. The main culprit behind all this mess are the agents which take the produce at a very low cost from the farmer and then it went through various distribution channels and finally, when it reached to the end customer, its price is almost 10 times the rate at which it was originally sold, which makes it unaffordable for the poor. For instance, currently the onion price is India is 100 rupees per kg. Which is almost 50 times more than the original price set by the government authorities. The enforcement of strict laws is the only solution to get rid of this problem. The authorities should do a daily check of both government and privately owned warehouses and keep a note of the stock so that prices remain in control. To conclude, although there is enough agricultural yield every year, but due to lack of strict government laws, many people face hunger for which the only solution is the enforcement of strict laws.
In the
current
era, the Agriculture industry is one of the booming sectors across the globe
because
of the
use
of modern technology in growing the crops.
However
,
despite of
the more agricultural produce, numerous
people
in
many
regions cannot have food. In this essay,
i
shall discuss the reason behind this problem and the actions should take to solve this issue.

First of all
, nowadays
many
farmers are making
use
of
latest
technologies and
changed
the way they are farming
rather
than following the traditional methods of farming,
as a result
of which the agricultural produce is more worldwide and
helps
in generating employment opportunities
as well
.
However
, the large amount of population worldwide
still
living below the poverty lines and don't have food for living. The main culprit behind all this mess are the agents which take the produce at a
very
low cost from the farmer and then it went through various distribution channels and
finally
, when it reached to the
end
customer, its
price
is almost 10 times the rate at which it was
originally
sold, which
makes
it unaffordable for the poor.
For instance
,
currently
the onion
price
is India is 100 rupees per kg.
Which
is almost 50 times more than the original
price
set by the
government
authorities.

The enforcement of strict laws is the
only
solution to
get
rid of this problem. The authorities should do a daily
check
of both
government
and
privately
owned
warehouses and
keep
a note of the stock
so
that
prices
remain in control.

To conclude
, although there is
enough
agricultural yield every year,
but
due to lack of strict
government
laws,
many
people
face hunger for which the
only
solution is the enforcement of strict laws.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this case? What can be done about this problem? v. 6

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
290 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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