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A healthy person is often described as someone who has a good diet, gets lots of exercises and avoids stress. What should people do to stay fit? v.1

A healthy person is often described as someone who has a good diet, gets lots of exercises and avoids stress. What should people do to stay fit? v. 1
Nowadays to have an appropriate living condition, people usually follow different outlines, including having regular sports activities, eating healthy foods and having sufficient relaxation time. I think these methods can reduce the risk of cancer, hypertension and depression. Obviously, I definitely give the green light to those having a healthy diet. The best reason is that this group of people will become less vulnerable to a variety of malignancies. Clearly, processed foods, which are served in many fast food restaurants, can increase the risk of colon cancer fundamentally, according to American Journal of Cancers. Unfortunately, now many humans are used to eating out, just over twice a week, causing them to become at risk of many Gastrointestinal cancers far more than the ones using home-cooked food. The second healthy habit is having regular sports activities. Admittedly, one of the leading causes of hypertension is obesity, and to come up with it, doctors firmly recommend their patients to have minimum one hour of daily regular exercise. As a prime example, had not my father had enough regular activity, he would have suffered more from hypertension complications; however, fortunately, he followed his doctor’s recommendations and could overcome it. Lastly, suppressing of anxiety could be another plan for having a less stressful lifestyle. Many citizens are at risk of tremendous stress in their daily life, including workplace conflicts or traffic congestion, leading them to be more under pressure mentally. They will gradually become more sleepless, isolated and depress. As a result, considering some periods of relaxation can assist them overcome with their low moods. In conclusion, having appropriate diet, exercise and leisure activities are extremely important to humans. I personally believe that this living condition not only will reduce the risk of hypertension and cancer, but depression will become less risky to citizens.
Nowadays to have an appropriate living condition,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
usually
follow
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
outlines, including
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
regular
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
, eating healthy foods and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
sufficient relaxation time. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
these methods can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
risk
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cancer
, hypertension and depression.

Obviously
, I definitely give the green light to those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
a healthy diet. The best reason is that this group of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
less vulnerable to a variety of malignancies.
Clearly
, processed foods, which
are served
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
food restaurants, can increase the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
risk
of colon
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cancer
fundamentally
, according to American Journal of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Cancers
. Unfortunately,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
humans are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to eating out,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
over twice a week, causing them to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
risk
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
Gastrointestinal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cancers
far more than the ones using home-cooked food.

The second healthy habit is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
regular
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
.
Admittedly
, one of the leading causes of hypertension is obesity, and to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
up with it, doctors
firmly
recommend their patients to have minimum one hour of daily
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
regular
exercise. As a prime example, had not my father had
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
regular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
, he would have suffered more from hypertension complications;
however
,
fortunately
, he followed his doctor’s recommendations and could overcome it.

Lastly
, suppressing of anxiety could be another plan for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
a less stressful lifestyle.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
citizens are at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
risk
of tremendous
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
in their daily life, including workplace conflicts or traffic congestion, leading them to be more under pressure mentally. They will
gradually
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
more sleepless, isolated and depress.
As a result
, considering
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
periods of relaxation can assist them overcome with their low moods.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
appropriate diet, exercise and leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
are
extremely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to humans. I
personally
believe that this living condition not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
risk
of hypertension and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cancer
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
depression will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
less risky to citizens.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
28Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay A healthy person is often described as someone who has a good diet, gets lots of exercises and avoids stress. What should people do to stay fit? v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
300 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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