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It is frequently remarked that success is easy to attain but difficult to maintain. v.1

It is frequently remarked that success is easy to attain but difficult to maintain. v. 1
Every human being desires success from his own perspective. Though success in life is a relative term and could vary greatly from person to person, being able to fulfil dreams and ambitions and being able to be recognised among people is a common definition we can attach to the term success. While a sports personality desire success by doing some ground breaking records in his sports, a new actor can dream to perform in a big budget hit movie as his success. When this actor gains some fame, he might desire to win the Oscar prize and can make it his milestone for success. It is often said that success might be easy to gain but more difficult to maintain and I completely agree with this notion. First of all, hard work, determination and talent are required to gain success. If we consider a new employee who might expect to reach the higher ladder of his career and works really hard, he might one day fulfil his dream. But the real challenge is in performing the duties as a senior executive and that’s even harder than reaching this position. A singer, movie actor and sportsman can gain fame and success by showing superb performance once and everybody will then look at them and expect them to perform well continuously. This is not that easy and requires even more hard work to maintain the performance. If we look at the movie industries, it is not uncommon that many new actors and actresses show great potential in their early state of career but can’t reach the position they ought to have due to their lack of hard work and determination. Luck often plays its tricks but if we omit the part played by the luck, it remains hard works, determination and excellent performance which become even harder when someone gains popularity. Second, we all have our short term and long term ambitions and being able to accomplish a goal does not stop us from dreaming even bigger dreams. Being successful for someone does not mean that he can then stop and enjoy his success. It opens new possibilities and responsibilities and to reach the next level, we need to work harder at that stage. Maintaining success means performing excellence all the time which in reality is a very hard to maintain. Third, the definition of success is ever changing even for a single person. A 10 years old child defines his success by achieving excellent grades and it changes as soon as he enters in his career. The successful students then have to work harder to prove his supremacy among other talented workers. Thus when he attains success and reach in a higher position of a company, he then needs to take even bigger responsibilities. A single blunder can then ruin his career and shatter his dream of further success. This keeps on changing and thus success in different states in life varies. Continuous efforts and works are required to maintain success for a person in his life. In conclusion, it is indeed true that maintaining success is far more difficult than achieving it as it requires even more hard works and continuous excellent performance in every field.
Every human being desires
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
from his
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
perspective. Though
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success
in life is a relative
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term
and could vary
greatly
from
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person
to
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person
, being able to fulfil
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dreams
and ambitions and being able to be
Possible spelling mistake. 'recognised' is British English.
recognised
among
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
is
a common definition we can attach to the
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term
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success
. While a sports personality desire
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
by doing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
ground breaking records in his sports, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
actor
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dream
to perform in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
budget hit movie as his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
. When this
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actor
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gains
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
fame, he
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might
desire to win the Oscar prize and can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it his milestone for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
said that
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success
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
be easy to
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gain
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
more difficult to maintain and I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this notion.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
,
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hard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
, determination and talent
are required
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
. If we consider a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
employee who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expect
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reach
the higher ladder of his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
and works
really
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
, he
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
one day fulfil his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dream
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
the real challenge is in performing the duties as a senior executive and that’s even
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
harder
than reaching this position. A singer, movie
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
actor
and sportsman can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gain
fame and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
by showing superb
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
performance
once and everybody will then look at them and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expect
them to perform well
continuously
. This is not that easy and requires even more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
to maintain the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
performance
. If we look at the movie industries, it is not uncommon that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
actors
and actresses
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
great potential in their early state of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
can’t
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reach
the position they ought to have due to their lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and determination. Luck
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
plays its tricks
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
if we omit the part played by the luck, it remains
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
works, determination and excellent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
performance
which become even
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
harder
when someone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gains
popularity.

Second, we all have our short
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
term
and long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
term
ambitions and being able to accomplish a goal does not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
us from dreaming even bigger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dreams
. Being successful for someone does not mean that he can then
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
and enjoy his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
. It opens
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
possibilities and responsibilities and to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reach
the
next
level, we need to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
harder
at that stage. Maintaining
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
means performing excellence all the time which in reality is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
to maintain.

Third, the definition of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
is
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
ever changing
even for a single
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person
. A 10 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
child defines his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
by achieving excellent grades and it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
as he enters in his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
. The successful students then
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
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harder
to prove his supremacy among other talented workers.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Thus
when he attains
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success
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reach
in a higher position of a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
, he then needs to take even bigger responsibilities. A single blunder can then ruin his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
and shatter his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dream
of
further
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keeps
on changing and
thus
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
states in life varies. Continuous efforts and works
are required
to maintain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
in his life.

In conclusion
, it is
indeed
true that maintaining
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
is far more difficult than achieving it as it requires even more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
works and continuous excellent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
performance
in every field.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
76Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay It is frequently remarked that success is easy to attain but difficult to maintain. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
536 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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