Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some employers reward members of staff for their exceptional contribution to the company by giving them extra money. This practice can act as an incentive for some but may also have a negative impact on others. To what extent is this style of management effective? Are there better ways of encouraging employees to work hard? v.1

Some employers reward members of staff for their exceptional contribution to the company by giving them extra money. This practice can act as an incentive for some but may also have a negative impact on others. Are there better ways of encouraging employees to work hard? v. 1
Money and incentive can be considered as one of the key takeaways from a job. For all employees, their idea of a good job always considers good incentives and at the same time, the management always expects good work from their members of staff. Providing a raise in the salary or other monetary benefits always plays to the satisfaction of both the parties involved, as the employer encourages excellence which is one of their requirements and the workforce responds by giving their best in their operation. However, as is the case with a lot of approaches to improve workforce throughput, there are some disadvantages to this approach. Such a pecuniary outlook has the tendency to disorient the workplace as the other employees are susceptible to feel bad about themselves. For example, in a normal workplace, every person has the right to believe that their work plays a big part in the organization's growth. When some people are selected for their efficiency, it might paint a bad picture that specifies that the others are not as efficient as the chosen few. Also, identifying and selecting the people who contribute more to the institution can also backfire when done wrongly. I would say that such money-based incentives should be encouraged only when there is a solid ground in which the people can be judged in. For instance, the number of tickets handled by people in a Customer Service environment is a very good metric to be used here. This number will always be a solid one for each of the individual and the tickets are open for all involved people. In conclusion, I believe that providing monetary benefits can greatly improve and enhance the organization's upscaling but at the same time, the management must ensure that these benefits are not provided for abstract goals which might cause controversy later on.
Money and incentive can
be considered
as one of the key takeaways from a job. For all employees, their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
job always considers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
incentives and at the same time, the management always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expects
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
work from their members of staff. Providing a raise in the salary or other monetary benefits always plays to the satisfaction of both the parties involved, as the employer encourages excellence which is one of their requirements and the workforce responds by giving their best in their operation.

However
, as is the case with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
approaches to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
workforce throughput, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disadvantages to this approach. Such a pecuniary outlook has the tendency to disorient the workplace as the other employees are susceptible to feel
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
about themselves.
For example
, in a normal workplace, every person has the right to believe that their work plays a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
part in the organization's growth. When
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are selected
for their efficiency, it might paint a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
picture that specifies that the others are not as efficient as the chosen few.
Also
, identifying and selecting the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who contribute more to the institution can
also
backfire when done
wrongly
.

I would say that such money-based incentives should
be encouraged
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
when there is a solid ground in which the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
be judged
in.
For instance
, the number of tickets handled by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in a Customer Service environment is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
metric to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
here. This number will always be a solid one for each of the individual and the tickets are open for all involved
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

In conclusion
, I believe that providing monetary benefits can
greatly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
and enhance the organization's
Possible spelling mistake found.
upscaling
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
at the same time, the management
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
ensure that these benefits are not provided for abstract goals which might cause controversy later on.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Some employers reward members of staff for their exceptional contribution to the company by giving them extra money. This practice can act as an incentive for some but may also have a negative impact on others. Are there better ways of encouraging employees to work hard? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
308 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts