Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some employers offer their employees subsidized membership of gyms and sports clubs, believing that this will make their staff healthier and thus more effective at work. Other employers see no benefit in doing so. Consider the arguments from both aspects of this possible debate, and reach a conclusion. v.5

Some employers offer their employees subsidized membership of gyms and sports clubs, believing that this will make their staff healthier and thus more effective at work. Other employers see no benefit in doing so. Consider the arguments from both aspects of this possible debate, and reach a conclusion. v. 5
Health and fitness are a really important factor in someone's life. Many companies these days are providing gym and sports club's membership to encourage their workforce, this helps them to stay fit. Others think it is just a waste of money. This essay will discuss both sides of the argument. On the one hand, employers that do not provide these subscription think their profits can be used elsewhere, such as in bonuses and more incentives. For instance, some companies focus more on free healthcare than fitness centre membership. Furthermore, employees in some jobs are on a very strict schedule. It is believed that, if a person is given the subsidized plan of health centres, they will spend some amount of time there, which will reduce the number of hours worked. On the other hand, companies who do offer these plans what their staff to be healthy. This is because a healthy person is less likely to take sick leaves. For example, research has shown, if an individual exercises four times a week, the number of sick days are reduced by half. In addition, most of the employees do exercises in groups, which enhances their social skills. One of the good examples is Sales. People often look for gyms and sports clubs to increase their social circle. To conclude, if an employer does not offer fitness centre subscription they are harming themselves rather than saving money. In contrast, employers who provide these are at an advantage. They generally have a motivated and superior workforce.
Health and fitness are a
really
important
factor in someone's life.
Many
companies
these days are providing gym and sports club's membership to encourage their workforce, this
helps
them to stay fit. Others
think
it is
just
a waste of money. This essay will discuss both sides of the argument.

On the one hand, employers that do not provide
these subscription
think
their profits can be
used
elsewhere, such as in bonuses and more incentives.
For instance
,
some
companies
focus more on free healthcare than fitness
centre
membership.
Furthermore
, employees in
some
jobs are on a
very
strict schedule. It
is believed
that, if a person is
given
the subsidized plan of health
centres
, they will spend
some
amount of time there, which will
reduce
the number of hours worked.

On the other hand
,
companies
who do offer these plans what their staff to be healthy. This is
because
a healthy person is less likely to take sick
leaves
.
For example
, research has shown, if an individual exercises four times a week, the number of sick days are
reduced
by half.
In addition
, most of the employees do exercises in groups, which enhances their social
skills
. One of the
good
examples is Sales.
People
often
look for gyms and sports clubs to increase their social circle.

To conclude
, if an employer does not offer fitness
centre
subscription they are harming themselves
rather
than saving money.
In contrast
, employers who provide these are at an advantage. They
generally
have a motivated and superior workforce.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Mistakes

IELTS essay Some employers offer their employees subsidized membership of gyms and sports clubs, believing that this will make their staff healthier and thus more effective at work. Other employers see no benefit in doing so. Consider the arguments from both aspects of this possible debate, and reach a conclusion. v. 5

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
253 words
9
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 9.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 9.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 9.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts