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Some employers offer their employees subsidized membership of gym or sports clubs, believing that this will make their staff healthier and thus more effective at work. Other employers see no benefit in so doing. Discuss both views and give your opinion v.2

Some employers offer their employees subsidized membership of gym or sports clubs, believing that this will make their staff healthier and thus more effective at work. Other employers see no benefit in so doing. 2
Maintaining a healthy and fit body is more important these days because of stressful jobs and sitting before a computer screen for hours. Some companies offer their staff free membership of the gym or sports club that this will make them healthier. While other employers see no advantages through that subsidy. In this essay, I will discuss about both sides of the argument and give my opinion. Firstly, many MNC companies offer their staff with many facilities to make their staff free from stress from their daily work. Moreover, they also offer event tickets or other club membership to make them effective at work. For instance, joining in the gym can help employees to be fit and also helps to build better relations with other colleagues. So, it is important to join a club or the gym to be healthier. On the other hand, the people who already joined in the gym and other clubs will see no benefit by this subsidy. Apart from that, the people will get no time to spend with their family and to work on their passion. For example, staff who joined in the gym will get less time for their personal work as well for their family members. That mean staff usually spends 8 hours in their office, 8 hours of sleep and remaining time in their other works. So, some employers see no benefit of subsidized membership. In conclusion, by the above aforementioned points majority of the employers get benefited from those schemes. In my humble opinion, every people who are working in those companies should utilize this scheme to make their life healthier and more fit.
Maintaining a healthy and fit body is more
important
these days
because
of stressful jobs and sitting
before
a computer screen for hours.
Some
companies
offer their
staff
free membership of the
gym
or sports
club
that this will
make
them healthier.
While
other
employers
see
no advantages through that subsidy. In this essay, I will
discuss about both
sides of the argument and give my opinion.

Firstly
,
many
MNC
companies
offer their
staff
with
many
facilities to
make
their
staff
free from
stress
from their daily
work
.
Moreover
, they
also
offer
event
tickets or
other
club
membership to
make
them effective at
work
.
For instance
, joining in the
gym
can
help
employees to
be fit
and
also
helps
to build better relations with
other
colleagues.
So
, it is
important
to
join
a
club
or the
gym
to be healthier.

On the
other
hand, the
people
who already
joined
in the
gym
and
other
clubs
will
see
no benefit by this subsidy. Apart from that, the
people
will
get
no time to spend with their family and to
work
on their passion.
For example
,
staff
who
joined
in the
gym
will
get
less time for their personal
work
as well
for their family members. That mean
staff
usually
spends 8 hours in their office, 8 hours of sleep and remaining time in their
other
works.
So
,
some
employers
see
no benefit of subsidized membership.

In conclusion
, by the above aforementioned points
majority of
the employers
get
benefited from those schemes. In my humble opinion, every
people
who are working in those
companies
should utilize this scheme to
make
their life healthier and more fit.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Some employers offer their employees subsidized membership of gym or sports clubs, believing that this will make their staff healthier and thus more effective at work. Other employers see no benefit in so doing. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
274 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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