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Nowadays, families are not as close as in the past and a lot of people have become used to this. Explain the reasons for this and discuss any possible effects it may have on society v.3

Nowadays, families are not as close as in the past and a lot of people have become used to this. Explain the reasons for this and discuss any possible effects it may have on society v. 3
The relationship between family members has weakened overwhelmingly in recent years and the majority of them have become accustomed to this detrimental change. The main factors behind this trend seems to be people’s busier schedule as well as locating the remained free time for social media. This would in fact have various adverse effects on the society, ranging from losing the support between family members to declining sense of emotions among people. One of the main reasons for losing familiarity in society is that people tend to spend a noticeable amount of time out of home. They are either working endlessly or doing other miscellaneous activities in their spare time such as going to the gym or attending classes. Therefore, not sufficient time remains to be spent with family, which brings about the loss of intimacy in families. Furthermore, many people find computer technology and smartphones so appealing that they prefer to spend their free time on such facilities rather than talking or interacting with family members. This issue not only brings about decreasing the closeness, but it is likely to be the cause of several family struggles. There are numerous negative impacts that loss of closeness among family will give rise to. For one, families have always been known as supporters of each other and when they encounter a problem, for many, the first one to turn to would be a family member. This is particularly true about elderly people who need constant care and support. As a result of the declining close-knit relationships, people are less likely to receive help from family members and therefore are more prone to suffer from loneliness and difficulties in life. A further argument seems to be that when the intimacy fades out in a family, the sense of emotions would start to diminish, as well. This would result in a more aggressive society where people would show less sense of sympathy and Humanity. In conclusion, becoming accustomed to less intimate relationships in families root mainly from not having sufficient quality time with family as well as becoming addicted to social media and computer technology. These factors leave detrimental impacts on Society and in longer term Humanity.
The relationship between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
has weakened
overwhelmingly
in recent years and the majority of them have become accustomed to this detrimental
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
. The main factors behind this trend seems to be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
busier schedule
as well
as locating the remained free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for social media. This would in fact have various adverse effects on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
, ranging from losing the support between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
to declining sense of emotions among
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

One of the main reasons for losing familiarity in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tend to spend a noticeable amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
out of home. They are either working
endlessly
or doing other miscellaneous activities in their spare
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
such as going to the gym or attending classes.
Therefore
, not sufficient
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
remains to
be spent
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
, which brings about the loss of intimacy in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
.
Furthermore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
find computer technology and smartphones
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
appealing that they prefer to spend their free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on such facilities
rather
than talking or interacting with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
. This issue not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
brings about decreasing the closeness,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is likely to be the cause of several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
struggles.

There are numerous
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts that loss of closeness among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
will give rise to. For one,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
have always
been known
as supporters of each other and when they encounter a problem, for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
, the
first
one to turn to would be a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
member
. This is
particularly
true about elderly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who need constant care and support.
As a result
of the declining close-knit relationships,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are less likely to receive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
and
therefore
are more prone to suffer from loneliness and difficulties in life. A
further
argument seems to be that when the intimacy fades out in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
, the sense of emotions would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
to diminish,
as well
. This would result in a more aggressive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
less sense of sympathy and Humanity.

In conclusion
, becoming accustomed to less intimate relationships in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
root
mainly
from not having sufficient quality
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
as well
as becoming addicted to social media and computer technology. These factors
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
detrimental impacts on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Society
and in longer term Humanity.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Nowadays, families are not as close as in the past and a lot of people have become used to this. Explain the reasons for this and discuss any possible effects it may have on society v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
364 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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