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Some employers offer their employees subsidized membership of gym or sports clubs, believing that this will make their staff healthier and thus more effective at work. Other employers see no benefit in so doing. Discuss both views and give your opinion v.1

Some employers offer their employees subsidized membership of gym or sports clubs, believing that this will make their staff healthier and thus more effective at work. Other employers see no benefit in so doing. 1
This is a debatable problem with the staff of the organisation. Some companies will provide the membership to their workers in regular exercise classes and games, but some organisations feel that it is not going to benefit any of the staff. This essay portrait the advantages and disadvantages of giving membership to the employees. On one hand, the Organisation will be benefitted by motivating their staff members by giving subsidised membership programs like going to the gym, joining sports club and much more. However, companies will efficiently run their business by doing this type of activities and the staff leads the healthy life. The percentage of attendance also increases, furthermore, the health of the staff is very important to complete the work on time. Finally, every organisation should make mandatory that the staff to take membership. On the other hand, there are such organisations who think that their business is more important than these types of activities to their employees. They focus only on the turnover of their business, but not their staff's health. This is the situation where we can see the importance giving to the workforce of a particular company. If an employer doesn’t want to take care of their employees, they can overcome the situations like staff members are not fit and healthy to do their jobs and they want to take some sick leaves, then the employer may fall. In my opinion, I say that one should be fit to their duties and the organisation should make them involve in this activies rather than forcing them in doing office work all the time. At last, the advantages outweigh the disadvantages in this aspect.
This is a debatable problem with the
staff
of the
organisation
.
Some
companies
will provide the membership to their workers in regular exercise classes and games,
but
some
organisations
feel that it is not going to benefit any of the
staff
. This essay portrait the advantages and disadvantages of giving membership to the employees.

On one hand, the
Organisation
will be
benefitted
by motivating their
staff
members by giving
subsidised
membership programs like going to the gym, joining sports club and much more.
However
,
companies
will
efficiently
run their business by doing this type of activities and the
staff
leads the healthy life. The percentage of attendance
also
increases,
furthermore
, the health of the
staff
is
very
important
to complete the work on time.
Finally
, every
organisation
should
make
mandatory that the
staff
to take membership.

On the other hand
, there are such
organisations
who
think
that their business is more
important
than these types of activities to their employees. They focus
only
on the turnover of their business,
but
not their staff's health. This is the situation where we can
see
the importance giving to the workforce of a particular
company
. If an employer doesn’t want to take care of their employees, they can overcome the situations like
staff
members are not fit and healthy to do their
jobs and
they want to take
some
sick
leaves
, then the employer may fall.

In my opinion, I say that one should
be fit
to their duties and the
organisation
should
make
them involve in this
activies
rather
than forcing them in doing office work all the time. At last, the advantages outweigh the disadvantages in this aspect.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Mistakes

IELTS essay Some employers offer their employees subsidized membership of gym or sports clubs, believing that this will make their staff healthier and thus more effective at work. Other employers see no benefit in so doing. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
277 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
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