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‘Social networking sites such as Facebook and Twitter are observed to have more negative effects than positive being more useful for the criminals than others. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience. ’ v.4

‘Social networking sites such as Facebook and Twitter are observed to have more negative effects than positive being more useful for the criminals than others. with this statement? ’ v. 4
With the spread of internet and technology, social media has become a vital part of our life. Sites such as Facebook, Instagram and Twitter are gaining popularity not only among the youth but also older age groups. With this being said, critics are arguing that these sites provide a channel for criminal activity and hence have more disadvantages than advantages. Cyber bullying justifies the negatives associated with social media. Although punishable by law, it is a very common form of internet crime. Spreading hate, mockery and publicly embarrassing the victim against his will has serious mental impacts and in many cases also leads to depression and social anxiety. Moreover, the privacy policies of such sites, especially Facebook, poses some critical issues to the safety of private information. Facebook, for example, had a significant security breach in 2013 which led to a large amount of personal information ending up in the wrong hands, some of which criminals too. Be that as it may, these networking applications have transformed the world of communication for good, thereby making confabulations convenient, effortless and almost free of charge. Speaking to your grandmother in another corner of the world does not cost an arm and a leg and can be done with one tap now. Furthermore, being good sources of entertainment and interaction, they have spread information beyond the limits of the universe that otherwise would have taken years to disperse. In addition, these platforms are central to numerous social, political and ethical discussions. The environmental crisis, for example, is gaining more momentum on Instagram than in real life. This exchange of ideas has integrated the world and benefitted millions. In conclusion, even though social media has some negative connotations, I disagree that social networking sites have more negative effects than positive. It is clear that the benefits that these sites have provided us with are irreplaceable and as for the problems associated with them, we can always take measures to minimise or eliminate them.
With the spread of internet and technology,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
media has become a vital part of our life.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Sites
such as Facebook, Instagram and Twitter are gaining popularity not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
among the youth
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
older age groups. With this
being said
, critics are arguing that these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
provide a channel for criminal activity and
hence
have more disadvantages than advantages.

This word is normally spelled as one.
Cyber bullying
justifies the negatives associated with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
media. Although punishable by law, it is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
common form of internet crime. Spreading hate, mockery and
publicly
embarrassing the victim against his will has serious mental impacts and in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
cases
also
leads to depression and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
anxiety.
Moreover
, the privacy policies of such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
,
especially
Facebook, poses
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
critical issues to the safety of private information. Facebook,
for example
, had a significant security breach in 2013 which led to a large amount of personal information ending up in the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
hands,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of which criminals too.

Be that as it may, these networking applications have transformed the world of communication for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
, thereby making confabulations convenient, effortless and almost free of charge. Speaking to your grandmother in another corner of the world does not cost an arm and a leg and can
be done
with one tap
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
.
Furthermore
, being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
sources of entertainment and interaction, they have spread information beyond the limits of the universe that
otherwise
would have taken years to disperse.
In addition
, these platforms are central to numerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
, political and ethical discussions. The environmental crisis,
for example
, is gaining more momentum on Instagram than in real life. This exchange of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
has integrated the world and
Possible spelling mistake found.
benefitted
millions.

In conclusion
,
even though
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
media has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
connotations, I disagree that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
networking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
have more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
. It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that the benefits that these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
have provided us with are irreplaceable and as for the problems associated with them, we can always take measures to
Possible spelling mistake. 'minimise' is British English.
minimise
or eliminate them.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay ‘Social networking sites such as Facebook and Twitter are observed to have more negative effects than positive being more useful for the criminals than others. with this statement? ’ v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
329 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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