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Some educationalists think that international exchange visits will benefit teenagers at the school. To what extent do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages? v.1

Some educationalists think that international exchange visits will benefit teenagers at the school. v. 1
There is no doubt that education is an important part of everyones life. Many believe that teens in schools can be benefitted through international exchange visits. Even though the international exchange has certain disadvantages, in my opinion, the advantages completely outweigh the drawbacks. This essay is going to discuss both the advantages and disadvantages and support them with relevant examples. Firstly, one disadvantage of an international visit can be that the students need to adjust to a new curriculum. The syllabus and teaching methodology in their country can be different from the nation they are visiting. For example, electronics and communication engineering in India focuses on the electronics aspect more than the programming whereas a similar course in The USA has a balanced approach to both. Furthermore, culture shock can be another problem students can experience. This is because culture varies across countries and the students need to adjust to the new cultures. On the other hand, an international exchange student has the advantage of interacting with students from different countries. This can be helpful because diverse communities bring in their own experiences which can help students to broaden their horizons. For instance, a masters student can work on projects with students from other countries which can help him in understanding their approach to solve a particular problem and use it to further improve his knowledge. Moreover, studying in a foreign land can help students to become more independent, which is not possible at home because parents help them with most of their issues. To conclude, although the disadvantages of cultural shock and change in the curriculum can seem daunting, the advantages of interaction with students from various countries and becoming more independent can help develop a student and in my view, these benefits outweigh the drawbacks.
There is no doubt that education is an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
part of
Possible spelling mistake found.
everyones
life.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
believe that teens in schools can be
Possible spelling mistake found.
benefitted
through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
exchange visits.
Even though
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
exchange has certain disadvantages, in my opinion, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advantages
completely outweigh the drawbacks. This essay is going to discuss both the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advantages
and disadvantages and support them with relevant examples.

Firstly
, one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disadvantage
of an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
visit can be that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
need to adjust to a new curriculum. The syllabus and teaching methodology in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
can be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
from the nation they are visiting.
For example
, electronics and communication engineering in India focuses on the electronics aspect more than the programming whereas a similar course in The USA has a balanced approach to both.
Furthermore
, culture shock can be another problem
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can experience. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
culture varies across
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
need to adjust to the new cultures.

On the other hand
, an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
exchange
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
has the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advantage
of interacting with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. This can be helpful
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
diverse communities bring in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
experiences which can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to broaden their horizons.
For instance
, a
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "masters'" or "master's"?
masters
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
can work on projects with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
from other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
which can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
him in understanding their approach to solve a particular problem and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it to
further
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
his knowledge.
Moreover
, studying in a foreign land can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to become more independent, which is not possible at home
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
parents
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
them with most of their issues.

To conclude
, although the disadvantages of cultural shock and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in the curriculum can seem daunting, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advantages
of interaction with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
from various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
and becoming more independent can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
develop a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
and in my view, these benefits outweigh the drawbacks.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some educationalists think that international exchange visits will benefit teenagers at the school. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
297 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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