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Some educationalists think that a programme of international exchange visits will offer various benefits for teenage school students. Do you think the advantages of it outweigh the disadvantages? v.2

Some educationalists think that a programme of international exchange visits will offer various benefits for teenage school students. Do you think the advantages of it outweigh the disadvantages? v. 2
In our modern life, one of the most important aspect is education. Respectively, programme of international exchange became a popular in recent year. I am of the view that the advantage of its overweight disadvantages. In this essay I will explore my ideas with reasons and examples before coming to a conclusion. On the one hand, there any drawbacks of this programme of international exchange, especially among teenage school students. Firstly, it chance to get acquainted with new cultures. In other words, this programme way to adopt different cultures and lifestyles which are not suitable for our value. Secondly, we can travel and enjoy around cities with spectacular view for free and it really helps to leave our comfort zone. On the other hand, the main benefit of studying abroad is improving knowledge level. I am sure that, exchange opinions with teachers and professors from different countries, absolutely help to develop our knowledge to a new degree. For instance, we can learn something new, expand our outlook, recognise about their culture, traditions and history from them and teach others what we know. In addition, another important advantage is that students can make new friends and build relationships. Friends always help to relax and adapt. To sum up, when we analyse the issue in depth, it becomes crystal clear that programme of international exchange has more advantages than disadvantages also it really help to students braking knowledge and start a new life.
In our modern life, one of the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
Please check whether a plural form of 'aspect' should be used.
aspect
is education.
Respectively
,
Possible spelling mistake. 'programme' is British English.
programme
of international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exchange
became a popular in recent year. I am of the view that the advantage of its overweight disadvantages. In this essay I will explore my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
with reasons and examples
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
coming to a conclusion.

On the one hand, there any drawbacks of this
Possible spelling mistake. 'programme' is British English.
programme
of international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exchange
,
especially
among teenage school students.
Firstly
, it
Did you mean "chances"?
chance
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
acquainted with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
cultures.
In other words
, this
Possible spelling mistake. 'programme' is British English.
programme
way to adopt
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
cultures and lifestyles which are not suitable for our value.
Secondly
, we can travel and enjoy around cities with spectacular view for free and it
really
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
our comfort zone.

On the other hand
, the main benefit of studying abroad is improving knowledge level. I am sure that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exchange
opinions with teachers and professors from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
countries,
absolutely
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
to develop our knowledge to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
degree.
For instance
, we can learn something
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
, expand our outlook,
Possible spelling mistake. 'recognise' is British English.
recognise
about their culture, traditions and history from them and teach others what we know.
In addition
, another
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
advantage is that students can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
friends and build relationships. Friends always
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
to relax and adapt.

To sum up, when we
Possible spelling mistake. 'analyse' is British English.
analyse
the issue in depth, it becomes crystal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that
Possible spelling mistake. 'programme' is British English.
programme
of international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exchange
has more advantages than disadvantages
also
it
really
Did you mean "helps"?
help
to students braking knowledge and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
life.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
13Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Mistakes
Change your language and you change your thoughts.
Karl Albrecht

IELTS essay Some educationalists think that a programme of international exchange visits will offer various benefits for teenage school students. Do you think the advantages of it outweigh the disadvantages? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
241 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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