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Some disasters or calamities bring some opportunities in disguise. Some people think there is always a silver lining to a problem, while others think that disasters are always damaging. Do you agree or disagree? Put across your opinion with relevant supporting points or examples. v.1

Some disasters or calamities bring some opportunities in disguise. Some people think there is always a silver lining to a problem, while others think that disasters are always damaging. Put across your opinion with relevant supporting points or examples. v. 1
There is a belief amongst few that catastrophe's can sometimes have a positive impact while others are of the belief that it causes damage invariably. In my opinion, calamities have a severe negative impact not only on the human race, but also on the entire ecosystem consisting of plants and animals as well in some of the cases. Undoubtedly, disasters exacerbate health problems of the society. Moreover, events such as earthquakes, Tsunami can cause severe physical injuries and are considered fatal as well. Additionally, other disasters can have adverse impact not only on physical condition, but also the mental health of an individual. For instance, a current ongoing pandemic of COVID-19, which is an airborne disease, has affected lungs of the contracted people resulting in thousands of deaths around the world. Therefore, it has forced governments around the globe to order a complete lockdown impacting social lives of everyone, creating emotional turbulence. Furthermore, families of people dying are going through additional emotional trauma. Consequently, calamities have a prodigious downward effect on various business sectors of the society. Thus, various people lose their employment due to the slowdown in the markets. The paucity of resources due to unemployment renders a hurdle to fulfil their rudimentary needs as well. Moreover, slowness in markets significantly impacts the national economy as well. For example, in this current pandemic due to the closure of businesses, people have lost their jobs resulting in a global recession and sinking of economics around 5% including developed nations such as United Nations, France, Italy etc. To conclude, humans are the social animals and love to be surrounded by their friends and loved ones and disasters definitely deters them to lead their normal life. Moreover, calamities affect economies as well. So, according to me catastrophe is always harmful in one of the other ways.
There is a belief amongst few that catastrophe's can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
impact
while others are of the belief that it causes damage
invariably
. In my opinion, calamities have a severe
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
impact
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
on the human race,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
on the entire ecosystem consisting of plants and animals as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
in
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
cases.

Undoubtedly
, disasters exacerbate health problems of the society.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
such as earthquakes, Tsunami can cause severe physical injuries and
are considered
fatal as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
.
Additionally
, other disasters can have adverse
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
impact
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
on physical condition,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
the mental health of an individual.
For instance
, a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
ongoing pandemic of COVID-19, which is an airborne disease, has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
lungs of the contracted
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
resulting in thousands of deaths around the world.
Therefore
, it has forced
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
around the globe to order a complete lockdown impacting social
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
of everyone, creating emotional turbulence.
Furthermore
, families of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
dying are going through additional emotional trauma.

Consequently
, calamities have a prodigious downward effect on various business sectors of the society.
Thus
, various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
lose their employment due to the slowdown in the markets. The paucity of resources due to unemployment renders a hurdle to fulfil their rudimentary needs as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
.
Moreover
, slowness in markets
significantly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
impacts
the national economy as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
.
For example
, in this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
pandemic due to the closure of businesses,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have lost their jobs resulting in a global recession and sinking of economics around 5% including developed nations such as United Nations, France, Italy etc.

To conclude
, humans are the social animals and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
to
be surrounded
by their friends and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
ones and disasters definitely deters them to lead their normal life.
Moreover
, calamities affect economies as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, according to me catastrophe is always harmful in one of the other ways.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some disasters or calamities bring some opportunities in disguise. Some people think there is always a silver lining to a problem, while others think that disasters are always damaging. Put across your opinion with relevant supporting points or examples. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
304 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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