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Psychological illnesses may not be as obvious as physical disabilities or illnesses, nevertheless they are just as disabling in their own way. Society, however, is more accepting of those with physical than psychological illnesses or disabilities. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.5

Psychological illnesses may not be as obvious as physical disabilities or illnesses, nevertheless they are just as disabling in their own way. Society, however, is more accepting of those with physical than psychological illnesses or disabilities. v. 5
It is true that mental illness being is not as visible as physical sickness, in spite of this, they affect badly in their own way. Nonetheless, the society seems to accept more of those with body than mental diseases. For some reasons, I believe that mental disabilities should be taken seriously. On the one hand, it is understandable why physical issues are more priority than mental illnesses. The main reason of this is that people who suffer from physical disabilities can see all the problems that relate to their body. As a result, they would most likely go to the doctors and then issues can be treated and diagnosed easily. In addition, it is a mindset of society that when considering to illnesses, people often think of physical issues. On the other hand, I think that people who suffer from mental illnesses are at risk as those of physical sickness. Statistics show that the number of people who have psychological disorders are the same as those have physical problems. In fact, the number of this is much higher because the data do not show the amount of people who keep silent about their diseases and do not go to the doctors. Moreover, it is difficult to treat the psychological illnesses. This is because the symptoms of these diseases are vague for any particular issues. They take a long time to be treatable for example years of therapy and medicines, sometimes these diseases even come back. Therefore, they could put a strain on people’s budget because of years of treatment. Also, the society is lack of the number of hospitals and doctors who have profession about the psychological issues. In conclusion, even though mental disorders are not obvious as physical diseases, they are harmful to human health in the their ways and there should be more priorities for these kind of diseases.
It is true that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
illness
being is not as visible as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
sickness,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
in spite of
this, they affect
badly
in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
way. Nonetheless, the society seems to accept more of those with body than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diseases
. For
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reasons, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mental
disabilities should
be taken
seriously
.

On the one hand, it is understandable why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
issues are more priority than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
illnesses
. The main reason of this is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
suffer from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
disabilities can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
all the problems that relate to their body.
As a result
, they would most likely go to the doctors and then issues can
be treated
and diagnosed
easily
.
In addition
, it is a mindset of society that when considering to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
illnesses
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
issues.

On the other hand
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
suffer from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
illnesses
are at
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
as those of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
sickness. Statistics
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
that the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
have psychological disorders are the same as those have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
problems. In fact, the number of this is much higher
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the data do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
the amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
silent about their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diseases
and do not go to the doctors.
Moreover
, it is difficult to treat the psychological
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
illnesses
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the symptoms of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diseases
are vague for any particular issues. They take a long time to be treatable
for example
years of therapy and medicines,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diseases
even
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
back.
Therefore
, they could put a strain on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
budget
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of years of treatment.
Also
, the society is lack of the number of hospitals and doctors
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
have profession about the psychological issues.

In conclusion
,
even though
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mental
disorders are not obvious as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diseases
, they are harmful to human health in
A determiner cannot combine with a possessive pronoun. Did you mean simply "their ways" or "the ways"?
the their ways
and there should be more priorities for
Did you mean "this kind" or "these kinds"?
these kind
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diseases
.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes
With languages, you are at home anywhere.
Edward De Waal

IELTS essay Psychological illnesses may not be as obvious as physical disabilities or illnesses, nevertheless they are just as disabling in their own way. Society, however, is more accepting of those with physical than psychological illnesses or disabilities. v. 5

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
311 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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