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The growth of online shopping will one day lead to all shops in towns and cities closing. Do you agree or disagree? v.41

The growth of online shopping will one day lead to all shops in towns and cities closing. v. 41
Due to the availability of technology, people’s life has been certainly revolutionized. This will lead to a diversity in shopping habits. Most of the people are using online shopping as having less time. However, this will lead to the reduction an innumerable of the local shops. I strongly agree with the above notion. The essay will discuss the notion with arguments in below paragraphs. To begin with, the predominant region for the people are preferring this mode of shopping as this will save their time. In the recent times, people having less time as their jobs are more demanding and having more time commitments. As a result, this form of shipping will be used by many people to buy their require things. Moreover, people can buy their necessary items from their home without taking much effort as no one is using the traditional methods. Although, there are many options are available with this shopping, this will be delivered in the couple of times. For example, Research conducted shows that many youngsters are preferring this trend due to the availability of items in their time with less effort. Furthermore, this mode will provide, the more discounts on the several products. As this will helps to manage the family budgets. Therefore, people over the world are using online shopping; no one likes to visit the shop and buy their products. This would be resulted in the number of local shops will be declined. For instance, the selling of the products in the local shops is decreased due to the advancement as a result, the local shops will be closed in the near future. In conclusion, Due to the advancement of the technology, the online shopping will provide comfort and efficient service. Having more benefits people prefer it over the globe. As per my opinion, this will shut down the local shop.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Due
to the availability of technology,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
life has been
certainly
revolutionized. This will lead to a diversity in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
habits. Most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are using online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
However
, this will lead to the reduction
The phrase 'an innumerable of' is not correct. Use a noun, not an adjective, between 'an' and 'of'.
an innumerable of
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
. I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the above notion. The essay will discuss the notion with arguments in below paragraphs.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, the predominant region for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
The verb 'preferring' is a stative verb and sometimes the progressive form is not correct. Try a simple form instead.
are preferring
this mode of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
as this will save their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. In the recent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
as their jobs are more demanding and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
commitments.
As a result
, this form of shipping will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
their
The word 'require' is not a noun. Did you mean "requirement"?
require
things.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
their necessary items from their home without taking much effort as no one is using the traditional methods. Although, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
options are available with this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
, this will
be delivered
in the couple of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
.
For example
, Research conducted
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
youngsters
The verb 'preferring' is a stative verb and sometimes the progressive form is not correct. Try a simple form instead.
are preferring
this trend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to the availability of items in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with less effort.

Furthermore
, this mode will provide, the more discounts on the several products.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
this will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to manage the family budgets.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
over the world are using online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
; no one likes to visit the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shop
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
their products. This would
be resulted
in the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
will
be declined
.
For instance
, the selling of the products in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
is decreased
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to the advancement
as a result
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
will
be closed
in the near future.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Due
to the advancement of the technology, the online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
will provide comfort and efficient service.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Having
more benefits
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer it over the globe. As per my opinion, this will shut down the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shop
.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes
A different language is a different vision of life.
Federico Fellini

IELTS essay The growth of online shopping will one day lead to all shops in towns and cities closing. v. 41

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
309 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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