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Some developed countries have spent billions of dollars on space research. Some people consider this to be an irresponsible attitude since millions of people on Earth are suffering from hunger. What is your opinion? v.1

Some developed countries have spent billions of dollars on space research. Some people consider this to be an irresponsible attitude since millions of people on Earth are suffering from hunger. What is your opinion? v. 1
Diseases associated with lack of physical exercise are being increasingly witnessed these days in many nations. In this essay, I shall discuss the main causes why this development has occurred and suggest solutions to cope with it. There are various compelling reasons why this is happening and the prominent one is that most of us always have hectic schedules as we are living in a fast-paced changing society, so it’s hard not to mix up work time and personal time if we expect a promotion at work places or receive better financial rewards. Additionally, people tend to neglect the negative impacts of not getting enough exercise. For instance, a recent study conducted in Japan has revealed that people who lack of exercise tend to suffer from diseases, such as high blood pressure and diabetes. For these reasons, this phenomenon is ubiquitous in recent years. The solutions are not simple, but they do exist. In order to eradicate this problem, it is critical for us to realize the significance of maintaining a work-life balance as it is beneficial for us to keep fit and increase work productivity if we can separate our private time from work time. In addition, the government can provide free facilities which can encourage more people to take participate in. Take myself for example, I like jogging in the park at night because I can sleep well after this as it is an efficient way for me to unwind stresses from work. Therefore, these methods are essential for us to deal with this issue. To sum up, lack of body exercise is increasingly common nowadays. This essay discussed the reasons of this development and also suggested various methods like raising individual’s awareness and providing more free facilities are available to prevent this situation from worsening.
Diseases associated with lack of physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
are being
increasingly
witnessed these days in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
nations. In this essay, I shall discuss the main causes why this development has occurred and suggest solutions to cope with it.

There are various compelling reasons why this is happening and the prominent one is that most of us always have hectic schedules as we are living in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
-paced changing society,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
not to mix up
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
if we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expect
a promotion at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
places or receive better financial rewards.
Additionally
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
tend to neglect the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts of not getting
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
.
For instance
, a recent study conducted in Japan has revealed that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
tend to suffer from diseases, such as high blood pressure and diabetes. For these reasons, this phenomenon is ubiquitous in recent years.

The solutions are not simple,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they do exist. In order to eradicate this problem, it is critical for us to realize the significance of maintaining a work-life balance as it is beneficial for us to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
fit and increase
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
productivity if we can separate our private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
In addition
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
can provide free facilities which can encourage more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to take participate in. Take myself
for example
, I like jogging in the park at night
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I can sleep well after this as it is an efficient way for me to unwind
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stresses
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
.
Therefore
, these methods are essential for us to deal with this issue.

To sum up, lack of body
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
is
increasingly
common nowadays. This essay discussed the reasons of this development and
also
suggested various methods like raising individual’s awareness and providing more free facilities are available to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
this situation from worsening.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
Learn a language, and you’ll avoid a war.
Arab Proverb

IELTS essay Some developed countries have spent billions of dollars on space research. Some people consider this to be an irresponsible attitude since millions of people on Earth are suffering from hunger. What is your opinion? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
298 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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