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Some developed countries have spent billions of dollars on space research. Some people consider this to be an irresponsible attitude since millions of people on Earth are suffering from hunger. What is your opinion? v.2

Some developed countries have spent billions of dollars on space research. Some people consider this to be an irresponsible attitude since millions of people on Earth are suffering from hunger. What is your opinion? v. 2
The 20th century witnessed the tremendous efforts carried out by developed countries in order to launch into the space exploration race. Billions of dollars were spent and continue to be spent on this in the present. Millions of people around the globe support space research in the name of knowledge, whereas millions more believe that there are other priorities which must be taken care of first, such as world hunger and poverty. In my opinion, spending exorbitant amounts of money on space research while millions of people around the world are struggling to cover their basic needs represents a moral irresponsibility. In the first place, considering that most of the money governments invest in space research comes from taxpayers' pockets. It is the duty of the government to attend to issues relating to the basic needs of the citizens first and then look for opportunities of development in order to increase the standard of living of the people. Furthermore, even though most people who suffer from hunger are probably not taxpayers, I am certain that if taxpayers were asked to vote in favor of allocating large sums of money for helping citizens in need r for developing space research programmes, most of them would choose the first option. On the other hand, some space research programmes are aimed at solving current world problems such as drinking water scarcity, since they believe that the earth is likely to run out of resources and without looking for minerals and materials outside the globe, the life on earth would soon be uninhabitable. However, many experts believe that the issue of scarcity of resources is more of a political matter than a real natural scarcity issue. Moreover, they argue that most space research programmes are aimed at solving which are not urgent to most populations, such as the existence of extraterrestrial life. Therefore, governments should listen to their most needy and urgent needs, such as eradicating poverty. Even if these governments belong to developed countries because they also need to focus on helping poorer countries. Only through mutual assistance and coordination, the allocation of resources by the government will benefit humanity.
The 20th century witnessed the tremendous efforts carried out by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developed countries
in order to launch into the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
exploration race. Billions of dollars
were spent
and continue to
be spent
on this in the present. Millions of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
around the globe support
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
in the name of knowledge, whereas millions more believe that there are other priorities which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be taken
care of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
first
, such as world hunger and poverty. In my opinion, spending exorbitant amounts of money on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
while millions of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
around the world are struggling to cover their basic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
represents a moral irresponsibility.

In the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
first
place, considering that most of the money
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
invest in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
from
Possible spelling mistake found.
taxpayers&
#039; pockets. It is the duty of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
to attend to issues relating to the basic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
of the citizens
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
first
and then look for opportunities of development in order to increase the standard of living of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Furthermore
,
even though
most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who suffer from hunger are
probably
not taxpayers, I am certain that if taxpayers
were asked
to vote in favor of allocating large sums of money for helping citizens in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
r for developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
, most of them would choose the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
first
option.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
are aimed
at solving
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
world problems such as drinking water scarcity, since they believe that the earth is likely to run out of resources and without looking for minerals and materials outside the globe, the life on earth would
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
be uninhabitable.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
experts believe that the issue of scarcity of resources is more of a political matter than a real natural scarcity issue.
Moreover
, they argue that most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
are aimed
at solving which are not urgent to most populations, such as the existence of extraterrestrial life.

Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
should listen to their most needy and urgent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
, such as eradicating poverty. Even if these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
belong to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developed countries
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to focus on helping poorer countries.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Only
through mutual assistance and coordination, the allocation of resources by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
will benefit humanity.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
31Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay Some developed countries have spent billions of dollars on space research. Some people consider this to be an irresponsible attitude since millions of people on Earth are suffering from hunger. What is your opinion? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
357 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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