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Billions of dollars are spent on space research. This is a waste of money. More money must be spent on improving the problem of people on earth. To what extent do you agree? v.1

Billions of dollars are spent on space research. This is a waste of money. More money must be spent on improving the problem of people on earth. v. 1
Nowadays, many countries across the globe are spending huge amount of money on space research programs. Rather than invest such amount of money in tackling the issues people face on earth. I believe that multi billion dollars spent on space research is an absolute waste of funds. Therefore, more cash should be spent on improving problems like global warming and health related issues which are of paramount significance to the people of this planet. Firstly, space research or travelling brings very little benefits. Space research as we all know is a very complicated issue, even if a new habitable planet is found in the galaxy, it can take up to two thousand light years to reach the surface of such planet. Thus, making it impossible and a complete waste of time. Secondly, space research cost a fortune as tons of cash are been used to finance such exploration. Such kind of hard earned cash should not be used for a project that is likely not to yield any dividend. Finally, space experimentation comes with a great danger and risk. As astronauts are made to come out of their shell and travel to outer space with a great unforeseeable consequences. Climate change also known as global warming is one of the most pressing matters on earth and require a very effective and swift action. More money should be poured into dealing with this problem and finding a long lasting solution in order to save this plant and the people within it. Every day climate change is afflicting the world severely. For example, typhoon, floods, and storm, just to name a few. If more money are continue been spent of space exploration and the challenges people face on earth are been ignored, the planet might get over run and then there wont be anyone left on it. Hence, it is better to save our planet first instead of exploring other planet. Health issues have been the major contributors to the increase in morbidity. People are dying by the minute from diseases, money for space research should be used to find a cure for deadly communicable illness. For example, Ebola which have claimed the life of over one billion people in Africa. protecting the people of the earth is of prime importance and should be the priority. To conclude, space research is a luxury with no significant long term benefits. So money spent on such experiments are waste of cash, and should instead be channeled into improving the life of the people in our planet and saving the earth from dying out.
Nowadays,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries across the globe are spending huge amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
programs.
Rather
than invest such amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
in tackling the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
face on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earth
. I believe that multi billion dollars
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spent
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
is an absolute waste of funds.
Therefore
, more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cash
should be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spent
on improving problems like global warming and health related
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
which are of paramount significance to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of this planet.

Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
or travelling brings
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
benefits.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Space
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
as we all know is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
complicated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issue
, even if a new habitable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
planet
is found
in the galaxy, it can take up to two thousand light years to reach the surface of such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
planet
.
Thus
, making it impossible and a complete waste of time.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
cost a fortune as tons of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cash
are been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to finance such exploration. Such kind of
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
hard earned
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cash
should not be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for a project
that is
likely not to yield any dividend.
Finally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
experimentation
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
with a great
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
. As astronauts
are made
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
out of their shell and travel to outer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
with a great unforeseeable
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "consequence"?
consequences
.

Climate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
also
known as global warming is one of the most pressing matters on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earth
and require a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
effective and swift action. More
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
should
be poured
into dealing with this problem and finding a
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
long lasting
solution in order to save this plant and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
within it. Every day climate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
is afflicting the world
severely
.
For example
, typhoon, floods, and storm,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
to name a few. If more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
are
Consider using a past participle here: "continued".
continue
been
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spent
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
exploration and the challenges
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
face on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earth
are been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignored
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
planet
might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
over run and then there
Please make sure you mean 'wont' (a habit), not "won't"/"won’t" (short for 'will not')?
wont
be anyone
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
on it.
Hence
, it is better to save our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
planet
first
instead
of exploring other planet.

Health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
have been the major contributors to the increase in morbidity.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
are dying by the minute from diseases,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to find a cure for deadly communicable illness.
For example
, Ebola which have claimed the life of over one billion
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in Africa.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
protecting
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earth
is of prime importance and should be the priority.

To conclude
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
is a luxury with no significant long term benefits.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spent
on such experiments are waste of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cash
, and should
instead
be channeled
into improving the life of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
planet
and saving the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earth
from dying out.
17Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
53Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes
Learn everything you can, anytime you can, from anyone you can; there will always come a time when you will be grateful you did.
Sarah Caldwell

IELTS essay Billions of dollars are spent on space research. This is a waste of money. More money must be spent on improving the problem of people on earth. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
429 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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