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You have recently got involved in a car accident and there was damage to both your car and your health. Fortunately you have both car premium insurance as well as health insurance. Write a letter to the insurance manager: Explaining your membership details v.1

You have recently got involved in a car accident and there was damage to both your car and your health. Fortunately you have both car premium insurance as well as health insurance. Write a letter to the insurance manager: Explaining your membership details v. 1
Nowadays, most of the people opt to give birth later in life. This is because of inflation and hard to get jobs. And there are more advantages to this as compared to drawbacks as we will discuss. Firstly, over the past few decades, inflation has been on a never ending rise which has made it difficult for people to earn and provide for their families. For example, a salary which was sufficient for a family of four in past times can only sustain two persons at most now owing to the price hikes and taxation. In addition, jobs have become tougher to find. Individuals tend to secure a better and stable future before starting a family. This is justified because prior to having children, one must have the adequate resources for their nutrition, education, and health. Therefore, it has become a growing trend to give birth at a later age. There are many benefits of this practice. To explain, when parents have a secure career, they can perform better in the upbringing of their children. For instance, they can afford better schooling and healthcare for the offspring. Moreover, once adults have a balanced life, they can spend more time with their family. This allows them to be aware of their needs and problems. Thus, all these perks outweigh the disadvantages of not having children sooner in life. In conclusion, people prefer to delay childbirth because of the increased cost of living and to seek a better future for themselves and their dependants. And this has the advantages of providing better resources for the offsprings and an opportunity to spend more quality time with them.
Nowadays, most of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
opt to give birth later in life. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of inflation and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
jobs. And there are more advantages to this as compared to drawbacks as we will discuss.

Firstly
, over the past few decades, inflation has been on a never ending rise which has made it difficult for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to earn and provide for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
.
For example
, a salary which was sufficient for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
of four in past times can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
sustain two persons at most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
owing to the price hikes and taxation.
In addition
, jobs have become tougher to find. Individuals tend to secure a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
and stable future
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
starting a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
. This
is justified
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
prior to having children, one
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
have the adequate resources for their nutrition, education, and health.
Therefore
, it has become a growing trend to give birth at a later age.

There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits of this practice. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
, when parents have a secure career, they can perform
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
in the upbringing of their children.
For instance
, they can afford
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
schooling and healthcare for the offspring.
Moreover
, once adults have a balanced life, they can spend more time with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
them to be aware of their needs and problems.
Thus
, all these perks outweigh the disadvantages of not having children sooner in life.

In conclusion
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
prefer to delay childbirth
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the increased cost of living and to seek a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
future for themselves and their
Possible spelling mistake found.
dependants
. And this has the advantages of providing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
resources for the
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "offspring", the plural form of the noun 'offspring'?
offsprings
and an opportunity to spend more quality time with them.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
Language comes first. It’s not that language grows out of consciousness, if you haven’t got language, you can’t be conscious.
Alan Moore

IELTS essay You have recently got involved in a car accident and there was damage to both your car and your health. Fortunately you have both car premium insurance as well as health insurance. Write a letter to the insurance manager: Explaining your membership details v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
274 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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