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Some countries in the region have been trying to attract more foreign talent to boost their economic competitiveness This has however caused some concern in those countries which are faced with a brain drain where their own talented professionals have lef v.1

Some countries in the region have been trying to attract more foreign talent to boost their economic competitiveness This has however caused some concern in those countries which are faced with a brain drain where their own talented professionals have lef v. 1
An ideology exists that parents are the best teachers. In my opinion, I agree that parents are the best instructors as it will greatly benefit both individuals and society in the long run. A good reason to show the importance of parents in their children’s life is that it positively teaches their children how to become independent and more responsible. This can occur by letting them explore the world and take responsibility for their action. Many older children are encouraged by their parents, for example, to have a part-time job in the summer to develop their understanding of the value of money. There is a crucial lesson beyond that as it increases their awareness about saving money up for something they would otherwise be unable to afford in the future. Moreover, some parents ask their children to help them with the house works, and this will result in strengthening their responsibility toward their family. Another point to consider is that parents are more engaged with their children’s activities than any other person. The reason for that is because they spend more time with their children than even teachers in schools, and this gives parents the ability to know their weakness. For instance, one of my friends has struggled with his swimming performance, and his parents played a major role in managing this weakness by supporting and helping him. As a result, he was ranked in the first place and awarded the shield of honor in our national tournament. This kind of parents is considered the best mentor any person can have in his life, and this role is difficult to be handled by teachers in school. Furthermore, parents are more capable of instructing their children and heartening them to be useful members of their society. To cite an example, around three-quarters of all the members in the charity organizations in Egypt are older children. They were involved in this moral work due to their parents. In conclusion, the things we learn from our parents are more valuable lessons. Our parent’s instructions shape who we are, who we become, and their contribution is much more important compared to the contribution of the traditional academic teachers, and that’s why parents are the best teachers in my point of view.
An ideology exists that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
best
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
. In my opinion, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
best
instructors as it will
greatly
benefit both individuals and society in the long run.

A
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
reason to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
the importance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
life is that it
positively
teaches their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
how to become independent and more responsible. This can occur by letting them explore the world and take responsibility for their action.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are encouraged
by their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
,
for example
, to have a part-time job in the summer to develop their understanding of the value of money. There is a crucial lesson beyond that as it increases their awareness about saving money up for something they would
otherwise
be unable to afford in the future.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
ask their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
works, and this will result in strengthening their responsibility toward their family.

Another point to consider is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are more engaged with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
activities than any other person. The reason for
that is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they spend more time with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
than even
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
in schools, and this gives
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
the ability to know their weakness.
For instance
, one of my friends has struggled with his swimming performance, and his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
played a major role in managing this weakness by supporting and helping him.
As a result
, he
was ranked
in the
first
place and awarded the shield of honor in our national tournament. This kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
is considered
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
best
mentor any person can have in his life, and this role is difficult to
be handled
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
in school.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are more capable of instructing their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and heartening them to be useful members of their society. To cite an example, around three-quarters of all the members in the charity organizations in Egypt are older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. They
were involved
in this moral work due to their parents.

In conclusion
, the things we learn from our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are more valuable lessons. Our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent’s
instructions shape who we are, who we become, and their contribution is much more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
compared to the contribution of the traditional academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
, and that’s why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
best
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
in my point of view.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some countries in the region have been trying to attract more foreign talent to boost their economic competitiveness This has however caused some concern in those countries which are faced with a brain drain where their own talented professionals have lef v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
377 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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