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Competitiveness is a positive quality for people to have among most societies. How does this competitiveness affect individuals? Do you think it is a positive or negative trend? v.1

Competitiveness is a positive quality for people to have among most societies. How does this competitiveness affect individuals? Do you think it is a positive or negative trend? v. 1
Parents must learn parenting skills and techniques so that they can reduce the crime rate conducted by the younger generation. This essay agrees with the aforementioned statement. This essay will first discuss that younger people follow the behaviour and footstep of their parents and further, it will outline that parents are the first point of interaction so they should teach the younger population to behave ethically It is clear that adults see and mimic their parents in every aspect so it is the responsibility of the parents to set a benchmark for their children to follow. This is to say, if parents will learn to be ethically and socially responsible citizens of the country, juveniles will follow the same behaviour, values and norms, thus, will not indulge in any criminal activity. To elucidate, a recent study by The Times showed that more than 80 percent of youngsters whose parents are a honest and loyal, do not involve in any criminal offence. Apart from this, parents should be taught to focus in inculcating good manners in their young children. In other words, parents should educate them about the difference between right and wrong and to be morally and socially responsible, so that they do not become criminals. To exemplify, a recent study conducted by The New York Times shoed that 80 percent of youngsters who are taught values, ethics and morals from a very early age do not involve in crime To conclude, In my opinion, I vehemently agree that parents should learn parenting skills in order to reduce the crime rate among youngsters as they tend to follow the behaviour of their parents, furthermore, parents have the responsibility to teach them good behaviour from the very earliest age.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
learn parenting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and techniques
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the crime rate conducted by the younger generation. This essay
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agrees
with the aforementioned statement. This essay will
first
discuss that younger
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
follow
the
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
and footstep of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and
further
, it will outline that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are the
first
point of interaction
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they should teach the younger population to behave
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
ethically


It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that adults
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
and mimic their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
in every aspect
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it is the responsibility of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
to set a benchmark for their children to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
follow
. This is to say, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
will learn to be
ethically
and
socially
responsible citizens of the country, juveniles will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
follow
the same
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
, values and norms,
thus
, will not indulge in any criminal activity. To elucidate, a recent study by The Times
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
that more than 80 percent of youngsters whose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
honest and loyal, do not involve in any criminal
Possible spelling mistake. 'offence' is British English.
offence
.

Apart from this,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should
be taught
to
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "focus".
focus in
inculcating
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
manners in their young children.
In other words
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should educate them about the difference between right and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
and to be
morally
and
socially
responsible,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they do not become criminals. To exemplify, a recent study conducted by The New York Times
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "shod", the past tense form of the verb 'shoe'?
shoed
that 80 percent of youngsters who
are taught
values, ethics and morals from a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
early age do not involve in crime

To conclude
, In my opinion, I
vehemently
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should learn parenting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the crime rate among youngsters as they tend to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
follow
the
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
,
furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
have the responsibility to teach them
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
from the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
earliest age.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Competitiveness is a positive quality for people to have among most societies. How does this competitiveness affect individuals? Do you think it is a positive or negative trend? v. 1

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
288 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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