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Some countries have introduced a law to limit working hours for employees. How this law can be introduced? Do you think it’s a positive/ negative development? v.5

Some countries have introduced a law to limit working hours for employees. How this law can be introduced? Do you think it’s a positive/ negative development? v. 5
Certain countries decide to limit time allowed for working for employees. This essay will suggest that possibility to create more work places in those countries is the biggest advantage of this and discuss why an obstacle on the way of self-developing professional skills is the primary disadvantage. Bounded working time supposes that employers have to invite a couple or more expert for a sole vacancy. This allows to keep high average revenue per citizen in balance and, in addition, it wipes out the percentage of unemployment. Moreover, the law warrants enough amount of free time to recover an energy, to take up a hobby and leisure time during working week. For example, The Times recently reported that in Melbourne maximal time you can spend on job is 40 hours per week. Employees have a lot of time for wishful activities. I suppose this is the main reason why huge amount of people choose this city for migration, work and living. Despite these advantages, many specialists may suffer of lack of experience. Top vacancies demand well-known general skills and, furthermore, extra abilities which is impossible to obsess from academic area knowledge. For instance, a recent survey by British Government found out that 64% of employees prefer to work without a limit of working time to improve own career ladder. In conclusion, introducing a law to limit working hours for employees can be advantageous because it allows creating more vacancies, however, it also can make a problem for inexperienced specialists to level up their proficiency altogether.
Certain countries decide to limit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
. This essay will suggest that possibility to create more work places in those countries is the biggest advantage of this and discuss why an obstacle on the way of self-developing professional
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
is the primary disadvantage.

Bounded
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
supposes that employers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
invite a couple or more expert for a sole vacancy. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
high average revenue per citizen in balance and,
in addition
, it wipes out the percentage of unemployment.
Moreover
, the law warrants
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
amount of free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to recover an energy, to take up a hobby and leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
during
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
week.
For example
, The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Times
recently reported that in Melbourne maximal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
you can spend on job is 40 hours per week.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Employees
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for wishful activities. I suppose this is the main reason why huge amount of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
choose this city for migration, work and living.

Despite these advantages,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
specialists may
The usual preposition for this expression is "from" or "with." Did you mean "suffer from" or "suffer with"?
suffer of
lack of experience. Top vacancies demand well-known general
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and,
furthermore
, extra abilities which is impossible to obsess from academic area knowledge.
For instance
, a recent survey by British
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Government
found out that 64% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
prefer to work without a limit of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
career ladder.

In conclusion
, introducing a law to limit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
hours for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
can be advantageous
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
creating more vacancies,
however
, it
also
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a problem for inexperienced specialists to level up their proficiency altogether.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
17Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Some countries have introduced a law to limit working hours for employees. How this law can be introduced? Do you think it’s a positive/ negative development? v. 5

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
254 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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