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Some countries have introduced a law to limit working hours for employees. Why is this law introduced? Do you think it is a positive or a negative development? v.3

In this steep competitive world, individual engage their work up to 12 hours. However, many nations came up with a restriction on working hours. From my perspective, this is a positive trend, but this has also brought downside in its wake. This ensuing paragraphs will clarify a point of reason and discuss both perspectives. There is a couple of benefits to impose a law to fix working hours for workers. First and foremost, people will get a chance to spend their quality time with loveable family. To explain it, due to overloading work, they spend most of their time in an organisation, as results of it, they became workaholic which may cause internal diseases. Whereas, if employers will get perfectly holiday, time or day-off than it is not only using them to reduce their stress, but also look after their children and grandparents. It seems that this rule should be implemented because of the several undeniable advantages. The prominent is, it will help to host country to boost their economy. In brief, many companies have a rule of eight hours working shift, therefore, more jobless people would get a chance to occupy in any enterprises, which not only declined the unemployment rate, but also a poverty of any nation. To epitomize, the current status of America, in 2015 the economy raised rapidly up to double as poverty and an unemployment rate decreased respectively. Although, when we look at the downside of this, it affects the masses personal lifestyle. To put it more simply, one can not get enough salary instead of working in two-shift, thus, they might fail to fulfil their desire need. Even though, to solve this problem many people find an alternative to live a convenient healthy lifestyle. For example, in Pakistan, people opt with two distinguish organization and get an excessive amount of money. To conclude, in this fast phase of world, it would be a positive step to have a law of limited working hours that improve country economic as well as individual living standards.
In this steep competitive world, individual engage their work up to 12
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
nations came up with a restriction on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
. From my perspective, this is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
trend,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
this has
also
brought downside in its wake. This ensuing paragraphs will clarify a point of reason and discuss both perspectives.

There is a couple of benefits to impose a law to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fix
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
for workers.
First
and foremost,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a chance to spend their quality time with loveable family. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
it, due to overloading work, they spend most of their time in an
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisation' is British English.
organisation
, as results of it, they became workaholic which may cause internal diseases. Whereas, if employers will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
perfectly
holiday, time or day-off than it is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
using them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
look after their children and grandparents.

It seems that this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rule
should
be implemented
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the several undeniable advantages. The prominent is, it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to host country to boost their economy.
In brief
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
have a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rule
of eight
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
shift,
therefore
, more jobless
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a chance to occupy in any enterprises, which not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
declined the unemployment rate,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
a poverty of any nation. To epitomize, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
status of America, in 2015 the economy raised
rapidly
up to double as poverty and an unemployment rate decreased
respectively
.

Although, when we look at the downside of this, it affects the masses personal lifestyle. To put it more
simply
, one can not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
salary
instead
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
in two-shift,
thus
, they might fail to fulfil their desire need.
Even though
, to solve this problem
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
find an alternative to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
a convenient healthy lifestyle.
For example
, in Pakistan,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
opt with two distinguish
Do not mix variants of the same word ('organization' and 'organisation') within a single text.
organization
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
an excessive amount of money.

To conclude
, in this
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
phase of world, it would be a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
step to have a law of limited
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
country economic
as well
as individual living standards.
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A man who knows two languages is worth two men.
French Proverb

IELTS essay Some countries have introduced a law of limit working hours for employees. Why is this law introduced? Do you think it is positive or a negative development?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
339 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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