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The money spent on space research has brought enormous benefits to mankind. But it could be more usefully applied. How far do you agree? v.2

The money spent on space research has brought enormous benefits to mankind. But it could be more usefully applied. How far do you agree? v. 2
It is true that humans have greatly benefited from funds used on space research, even though other important alternatives ought to have been taken into consideration. I completely agree that, monies could have been strictly utilized on public services aside the space sciences. There are various reasons why investing in the work of astronauts need to be reconsidered. Firstly, pace launching is extremely expensive. This involves the high costs associated with training scientists and other workers as well as the acquisition of necessary equipment. It can be argued that, humans are able to study the galaxy through the space missions. However, this is only applicable to people who reside in more industralised regions. On the other hand, the less privileged are most often not beneficiaries to these discoveries, which I believe is not worth the budget on such programs. I believe that funding space missions should be directed towards public services instead. It is much cheaper to build schools, hospitals than it is to spend on space launch. The public services come at a greater opportunity for all inhabitants in a particular area. To cite an example, students can find themselves in well-built schools to further their education. Additionally, people who fall sick can seek health care from the health care delivery to improve their health. If funds are shifted to these services, the vast majority will have a better quality of life. In conclusion, I consider that money needs to be allocated to services in the society that benefit all individuals as it is misplaced to have attention on importance of space projects.
It is true that humans have
greatly
benefited from funds
used
on
space
research,
even though
other
important
alternatives ought to have
been taken
into consideration. I completely
agree
that, monies could have been
strictly
utilized on public
services
aside the
space
sciences.

There are various reasons why investing in the work of astronauts need to
be reconsidered
.
Firstly
, pace launching is
extremely
expensive. This involves the high costs associated with training scientists and other workers
as well
as the acquisition of necessary equipment. It can
be argued
that, humans are able to study the galaxy through the
space
missions.
However
, this is
only
applicable to
people
who reside in more
industralised
regions.
On the other hand
, the less privileged are most
often
not beneficiaries to these discoveries, which I believe is not worth the budget on such programs.

I believe that funding
space
missions should
be directed
towards public
services
instead
. It is much cheaper to build schools, hospitals than it is to spend on
space
launch. The public
services
come
at a greater opportunity for all inhabitants in a particular area. To cite an example, students can find themselves in well-built schools to
further
their education.
Additionally
,
people
who fall sick can seek health care from the health care delivery to
improve
their health. If funds
are shifted
to these
services
, the vast majority will have a better quality of life.

In conclusion
, I consider that money needs to
be allocated
to
services
in the society that benefit all individuals as it
is misplaced
to have attention on importance of
space
projects.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
11Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay The money spent on space research has brought enormous benefits to mankind. But it could be more usefully applied. How far do you agree? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
264 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
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  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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