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Some countries are struggling with an increase in the rate of crime. Many people think that having more police on the streets is the only way to reduce these increasing levels of crime. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.7

Some countries are struggling with an increase in the rate of crime. Many people think that having more police on the streets is the only way to reduce these increasing levels of crime. v. 7
At the present time crime is a big concern for everyone. It has been noticed that the crime rate is increasing day by day and therefore, some countries are struggling very hard to cope with the problem. Many people are suggesting that there is only one way to mitigate the issue and that is to increase the number of police on the streets. I completely disagree with the point of view because there are other factors to consider as well and this essay will explain the point in detail. A group of people think that increasing the number of law enforcement agents in the field will reduce the crime rate and there is no other way to achieve this. They believe that more police will surely deter the criminals to commit crimes. Moreover, because of the superiority of number, it will be easier to catch the law breaker, if someone breaks the law. Research has also shown that increasing the police forces by twenty percent has resulted in decreasing the crime rate by five percent in New York city within the last ten years. On the contrary, my personal opinion is that although having more manpower will certainly help, it is not the only way. We have to take other factors into consideration also. One of the key factors is the morality of the people, which seems to be decreasing gradually nowadays. In fact, it has been seen that sometimes even the police officers themselves are involved in crimes. Moral teaching starts at the beginning of the childhood and so, it is the foremost duty of everyone to teach the moral values to their children. In addition, justice must be ensured in time. If punishment is not given or delayed, then criminals will continue to commit their heinous activities. A recent study has shown, that in those countries where punishment is given in due time, crime rate is significantly lower. To sum up, it is evident that if we only increase the size of police forces then it is certainly not enough. Additional steps such as, giving moral training to the children and ensuring prompt punishment of the criminals, must be taken so that long term benefit can be achieved.
At the present time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
concern for everyone. It has
been noticed
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
is increasing day by day and
therefore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
countries are struggling
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to cope with the problem.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are suggesting that there is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
one way to mitigate the issue and
that is
to increase the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
police
on the streets. I completely disagree with the point of view
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there are other factors to consider
as well
and this essay will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
the point in detail.

A group of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that increasing the number of law enforcement agents in the field will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
and there is no other way to achieve this. They believe that more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
police
will
surely
deter the criminals to commit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the superiority of number, it will be easier to catch the law breaker, if someone breaks the law. Research has
also
shown that increasing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
police
forces by twenty percent has resulted in decreasing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
by five percent in
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
New York city
within the last ten years.

On the contrary
, my personal opinion is that although having more manpower will
certainly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
, it is not the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
way. We
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
take other factors into consideration
also
. One of the key factors is the morality of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, which seems to be decreasing
gradually
nowadays. In fact, it has been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
even the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
police
officers themselves
are involved
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
. Moral teaching
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
starts
at the beginning of the childhood and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, it is the foremost duty of everyone to teach the moral values to their children.
In addition
, justice
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be ensured
in time. If punishment is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
or delayed, then criminals will continue to commit their heinous activities. A recent study has shown, that in those countries where punishment is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
in due time,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
is
significantly
lower.

To sum up, it is evident that if we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
increase the size of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
police
forces then it is
certainly
not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
. Additional steps such as, giving moral training to the children and ensuring prompt punishment of the criminals,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be taken
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that long term benefit can
be achieved
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Some countries are struggling with an increase in the rate of crime. Many people think that having more police on the streets is the only way to reduce these increasing levels of crime. v. 7

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
370 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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