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In some areas of U. S. a curfew is imposed in which teenagers are not allowed to be out of doors after a particular time at night unless they are accompanied by an adult. What is your opinion about it? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant example from your own knowledge or experience. v.1

In some areas of U. S. a curfew is imposed in which teenagers are not allowed to be out of doors after a particular time at night unless they are accompanied by an adult. What is your opinion about it? v. 1
There is a prohibition for teenagers in some U. S. Parts to go outside at late night, though they can go with their elders. In my opinion, I believe it is for the betterment of the young ones because at this stage the growing ones can be easily distracted and will waste their time in such activities rather than developing their future. The following paragraphs would elucidate my view. Firstly, the young generations get affected most when such criminal activities occur. Moreover, they have the fresh minds to adopt the fraudulent things easily. Thus, they can be diverted in crimes if came in contact with any destructive mind resulting in damaging vehicles, public and government property so it's better to keep them in houses at late hours or can come with their parents in urgency. For example, many college students get involved in some irrelevant individuals' disputes. However, these pupils were not aware of the actual facts and caught by cops in damaging items and supporting terrorists. Secondly, the young buds will lose their interest in academic and get involved in easy money making techniques resulting in the gloomy future of teenagers, furthermore affecting the whole nation as they are the building blocks of any country. For instance 2 years ago in the Kothari village of Himachal, molestation of a young child made the whole community to gather to protest and this lead to the destruction of government property by young people as there was no curfew imposed by the authorities. College students got involved and they suffer in their studies later on. To conclude, I strongly believe that in the alarming condition the government and public both should put their best foot together so that the harmful outcomes can be eradicated.
There is a prohibition for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
U. S. Parts to go outside at late night, though they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
go with
their elders. In my opinion, I believe it is for the betterment of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
ones
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
at this stage the growing ones can be
easily
distracted and will waste their time in such activities
rather
than developing their future. The following paragraphs would elucidate my view.

Firstly
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
generations
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
most when such criminal activities occur.
Moreover
, they have the fresh minds to adopt the fraudulent things
easily
.
Thus
, they can
be diverted
in crimes if came in contact with any destructive mind resulting in damaging vehicles, public and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
property
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it's better to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
them in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
at late hours or can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
with their parents in urgency.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
college students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
involved in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
irrelevant individuals' disputes.
However
, these pupils were not aware of the actual facts and caught by cops in damaging items and supporting terrorists.

Secondly
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
buds will lose their interest in academic and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
involved in easy money making techniques resulting in the gloomy future of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
,
furthermore
affecting the whole nation as they are the building blocks of any country.
For instance
2 years ago in the
Possible spelling mistake found.
Kothari
village of Himachal, molestation of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
child made the whole community to gather to protest and this lead to the destruction of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
property by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
as there was no curfew imposed by the authorities. College students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
involved and
they suffer in their studies later on.

To conclude
, I
strongly
believe that in the alarming condition the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
and public both should put their best foot together
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that the harmful outcomes can
be eradicated
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
Language is to the mind more than light is to the eye.
William Gibson

IELTS essay In some areas of U. S. a curfew is imposed in which teenagers are not allowed to be out of doors after a particular time at night unless they are accompanied by an adult. What is your opinion about it? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
292 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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