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Some countries are struggling with an increase in the rate of crime. Many people think that having more police on the streets is the only way to reduce crime. To what extent do you agree? v.4

Some countries are struggling with an increase in the rate of crime. Many people think that having more police on the streets is the only way to reduce crime. v. 4
Few nations try one's hardest with a rising in the percentage of offences against the law. More people thought that many detectives on the avenue is the only way to decrease violation. In brief, many law enforcement having on the streets is not only the way to reduce the evil, anyhow to reduce the crime rate people also get alerted by judging the one's behaviour if they can observe. While I disagree with this statement somewhat with having security on the streets as the count will go on the highest amount of force. Furthermore, increasing evil percentage becomes a common issue in a few countries on account of negligence by people and government. In other words, people should be alert to having this type of offences may get into trouble them. For instance, people may judge and clarify the person is genuine or showing his fake character by observing his character, what they do on a daily basis, is they are working or student, is they are localized or from another province, if we see the person is doing some fishy things hiding from people so that we can guess and be alert to stop the offence by calling police. However, government should provide at least 10 men for every 50 people either they can use the technology by night vision cameras and monitoring it from one point. So then the police could be alerted before the offence begins and should aware to public if this kind of people you see then call immediately to detective, in order that they can get into action for immediate cause. To conclude, with using technology law enforcement could stop the increasing quota of wrongdoing observing through the cameras installed at every crossroads, streets, shopping malls, hospitals, roads and many more where the people always get busy them by doing something they couldn't observe their precious things.
Few nations try one's hardest with a rising in the percentage of
Possible spelling mistake. 'offences' is British English.
offences
against the law. More
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
detectives on the avenue is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
way to decrease violation.

In brief
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
law enforcement having on the streets is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the evil, anyhow to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the crime rate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
alerted by judging the one's
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
if they can observe. While I disagree with this statement somewhat with having security on the streets as the count will go on the highest amount of force.

Furthermore
, increasing evil percentage becomes a common issue in a few countries on account of negligence by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
.
In other words
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should be alert to having this type of
Possible spelling mistake. 'offences' is British English.
offences
may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
into trouble them.
For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
may judge and clarify the person is genuine or showing his fake character by observing his character, what they do on a daily basis, is they are working or student, is they
are localized
or from another province, if we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the person is doing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
fishy things hiding from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that we can guess and be alert to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
the
Possible spelling mistake. 'offence' is British English.
offence
by calling police.

However
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should provide at least 10
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
for every 50
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
either they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the technology by night vision cameras and monitoring it from one point.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
then the police could
be alerted
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
the
Possible spelling mistake. 'offence' is British English.
offence
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begins
and should aware to public if this kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
then call immediately to detective, in order that they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
into action for immediate cause.

To conclude
, with using technology law enforcement could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
the increasing quota of wrongdoing observing through the cameras installed at every crossroads, streets, shopping malls, hospitals, roads and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more where the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
busy them by doing something they couldn't observe their precious things.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
A foreign language is like a frail, delicate muscle. If you do not use it, it weakens.
Jhumpa Lahiri

IELTS essay Some countries are struggling with an increase in the rate of crime. Many people think that having more police on the streets is the only way to reduce crime. v. 4

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
313 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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