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In some countries, shopping online is replacing shopping at store. Do you think it is a positive or negative development? v.1

In some countries, shopping online is replacing shopping at store. Do you think it is a positive or negative development? v. 1
Currently, people are increasingly doing their shopping on the Internet instead of going to stores. I personally believe this tendency has both positive and negative effects, which will be discussed below. On the one hand, there are some benefits of online shopping. Firstly, it is a quicker and cheaper way to shop since people can buy products at home without having to go to stores or shopping malls. For example, Amazon and eBay are two popular websites that provide a huge number of different products, and customers can visit those sites and make purchases easily. As a result, consumers can save time and the costs of travelling. Secondly, online shopping allows people to have a wider range of choices as they can compare different brands and products. For instance, buyers can easily compare the shoes of Converse and Vans, while it is difficult to do that at physical stores. On the other hand, online shopping can be negative in several ways. The first drawback is that customers cannot try products before making a purchase. For example, a girl cannot try wearing a dress to see if it fits her body. Furthermore, products sold online are often less reliable, and the product that people finally get delivered to their house might have a poorer quality than expected. Finally, because online shopping is easier and cheaper, people tend to buy too much, which would lead to a large waste of money. This is less likely to happen if shopping in stores is more popular. In conclusion, I believe the fact that shopping on the Internet is replacing shopping in physical stores is both positive and negative.
Currently
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
increasingly
doing their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
on the Internet
instead
of going to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stores
. I
personally
believe this tendency has both
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects, which will
be discussed
below.

On the one hand, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
benefits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
.
Firstly
, it is a quicker and cheaper way to shop since
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
at home without having to go to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stores
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
malls.
For example
, Amazon and eBay are two popular websites that provide a huge number of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
, and customers can visit those sites and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchases
easily
.
As a result
, consumers can save time and the costs of travelling.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to have a wider range of choices as they can compare
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
brands and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
.
For instance
, buyers can
easily
compare the shoes of Converse and Vans, while it is difficult to do that at physical stores.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
can be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
in several ways. The
first
drawback is that customers cannot try
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
making a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
.
For example
, a girl cannot try wearing a dress to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
if it fits her body.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
sold
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
less reliable, and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
finally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
delivered to their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
might have a poorer quality than
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
.
Finally
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
is easier and cheaper,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
too much, which would lead to a large waste of money. This is less likely to happen if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stores
is more popular.

In conclusion
, I believe the fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
on the Internet is replacing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
in physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stores
is both
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
The limits of my language are the limits of my world.
Ludwig Wittgenstein

IELTS essay In some countries, shopping online is replacing shopping at store. Do you think it is a positive or negative development? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
274 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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