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Some countries are not popular with using a bicycle even though it is beneficial for them. Why? What are the possible solutions to encourage people to use more of bicycle as the main transport? v.2

Some countries are not popular with using a bicycle even though it is beneficial for them. Why? What are the possible solutions to encourage people to use more of bicycle as the main transport? v. 2
Cycling is beneficial for individuals’ health and for the environment. However it is not popular among people for several reasons. The main reason could be due to the children and the physical exhaustion. To solve this issue, the government could provide the bicycle friendly facilities and monorails. This essay will discuss about the reasons for unpopularity in riding a bicycle and discuss in details about the government policies on providing bicycle friendly facilities and monorails. There are several possible causes leading people to be get discouraged from riding bicycle. Exhaustion, impossibility long distance trips, and children could be one issues, but the main causes can be the children. In other words, it may not be possible for children to bike for long distanced, which also could be why it is difficult for families to plan cycling trips. Children may not possible riding for a long distance and it could be difficult for a family to plan a trip by a bicycle. Therefore, people may not plan for their journey done by riding a bicycle. In addition to this, people may not plan a long trip by riding a bicycle because of all the storage issues. Since people have to carry many lots of things that adds more weight to their ride and result in more tiredness. Therefore, due to the tiredness and storage issues, people would not use the bicycle as the main form of transport to travel. To solve these issues, the government could provide some useful facilities. The government could provide the monorails for inadequate riders (children and elders). The government could place the mono rails next to the bicycle lanes. Therefore, this could relax people and make it easy to travel with a family. Furthermore, the government can provide the " rider-friendly facilities" . The cyclists would not have to carry all the heavy stuffs with their bike riding, because they can simply ride until the facility areas where it provides food, drink, met, bicycle storage, shower booths and tents. To do that, the provision of the riders-friendly facilities can encourage people to ride a bicycle for a journey. In conclusion, despite all other reasons for people to not riding a bike, the children and the impossibility of long trips could be the main reason. The government could introduce various facilities to help cyclists to ride comfortably in order to encourage the use of bicycle.
Cycling is beneficial for individuals’ health and for the environment.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
it is not popular among
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people
for several
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reasons
. The
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main
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reason
could be due to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and the physical exhaustion. To solve this
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issue
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
could
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provide
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bicycle
friendly facilities and monorails. This essay will
Did you mean simply "discuss the"? You do not need the word "about" here.
discuss about the
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reasons
for unpopularity in
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riding
a
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bicycle
and discuss in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
about the
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government
policies on providing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bicycle
friendly facilities and monorails.

There are several possible causes leading
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people
to be
Consider using a past participle here: "got", "gotten".
get
discouraged from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
riding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bicycle
. Exhaustion, impossibility
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
long
distance
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trips
, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
could be one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the
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main
causes can be the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
In other words
, it may not be possible for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to bike for
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long
distanced, which
also
could be why it is difficult for families to
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plan
cycling
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trips
.
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Children
may not possible
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riding
for a
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long
distance and it could be difficult for a family to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plan
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trip
by a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bicycle
.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
may not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plan
for their journey done by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
riding
a bicycle.

In addition
to this,
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people
may not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plan
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trip
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
riding
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bicycle
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of all the storage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
. Since
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
carry
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
lots of things that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
adds
more weight to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ride
and result in more tiredness.
Therefore
, due to the tiredness and storage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bicycle
as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
main
form of transport to travel.

To solve these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
could
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provide
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
useful facilities. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
could
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provide
the monorails for inadequate riders
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
(children
and elders). The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
could place the mono rails
next
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bicycle
lanes.
Therefore
, this could relax
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it easy to travel with a family.

Furthermore
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provide
the
Possible spelling mistake found.
&quot
; rider-friendly
Possible spelling mistake found.
facilities&quot
;
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
The cyclists would not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
carry all the heavy stuffs with their bike
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
riding
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they can
simply
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ride
until the facility areas where it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provides
food, drink, met,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bicycle
storage, shower booths and tents. To do that, the provision of the riders-friendly facilities can encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ride
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bicycle
for a journey.

In conclusion
, despite all other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
riding
a bike, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and the impossibility of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trips
could be the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
could introduce various facilities to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
cyclists to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ride
comfortably
in order to encourage the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bicycle
.
16Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
78Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes
Language is wine upon the lips. – Virginia WoolfInspirational quotes for language learners
Virginia Woolf

IELTS essay Some countries are not popular with using a bicycle even though it is beneficial for them. Why? What are the possible solutions to encourage people to use more of bicycle as the main transport? v. 2

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
398 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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