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Some countries achieve international sports by building specialized facilities to train top athletes, instead of providing sports facilities that everyone can use. Do you think this is positive or negative development? v.1

Some countries achieve international sports by building specialized facilities to train top athletes, instead of providing sports facilities that everyone can use. Do you think this is positive or negative development? v. 1
While, our globe has witnessed miracles through progress in medical sciences, since last few hundred years, these advances are by far the most substantial for the mankind. Before this breakthrough, even though diseases were treated, did anyone even think about getting their damaged organs replaced or prevention of most hazardous diseases even before they could catch a person? I strongly advocate that medicine study is exceptionally propitious for a human being. In this essay, we will discuss in detail about the above stated points, and will draw an inference. The last two centuries have witnessed great advances of the industrial revolution. Automation, machinery and various technologies have revolutionised the way people live, work, play and travel. Society has now many things that make people’s lives easier and more enjoyable, including cars, planes, computers and telephones to name only a few. It is quite clear that these advances are phenomenally significant in most people’s lives today. Medical discipline has also been revolutionised. Although, our ancestors have their own living history, but they would have never thought that their great next generations will live in medical wonders. To illustrate, earlier, people used to suffer their whole life or even die, without a proper treatment of many diseases, Whereas, today most of those conditions have been completely eradicated from their roots from our society, because of the invention of various vaccinations (given to both adults timely and even to kids as soon as they are born). A recent study by research done by All India medical sciences department has shown that polio (a chronic disorder), which was most common in India, has now completely disappeared from the Indian population because of its vaccination, which is given to an infant as soon as he is born till the child is 5 years of age. Earlier, until really a long term, people used to die because of organ failures, which now seems like only a past story. Scientific discoveries have made most organ replacements possible, hence, resulting in people living longer healthier lives. As per my personal experience, my great grandfather died because of heart blockage for seasons, whereas a few years ago, my 55 years old uncle had a heart transplant, and now he lives happily without any issue. After all, it's a blessing by the system. To recapitulate, having mulled over above stated arguments and information, and deliberating all the facts carefully, it can be deducted that scientific growth is the biggest blessing to human life. I feel, we are fortunate to live in the world of opportunities created by medical art and its progression, where medicine has incontrovertibly improved the quality and duration of a human life.
While, our globe has witnessed miracles through progress in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
sciences, since last few hundred years, these advances are by far the most substantial for the mankind.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Before
this breakthrough,
even though
diseases
were treated
, did anyone even
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about getting their damaged organs replaced or prevention of most hazardous diseases even
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
they could catch a person? I
strongly
advocate that medicine study is
exceptionally
propitious for a human being. In this essay, we will discuss in detail about the above stated points, and will draw an inference.

The last two centuries have witnessed great advances of the industrial revolution. Automation, machinery and various technologies have
Possible spelling mistake. 'revolutionised' is British English.
revolutionised
the way
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
, work, play and travel. Society has
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
now
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
things that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
easier and more enjoyable, including cars,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
planes
, computers and telephones to name
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
a few. It is quite
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that these advances are
phenomenally
significant in most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
.

Medical discipline has
also
been
Possible spelling mistake. 'revolutionised' is British English.
revolutionised
. Although, our ancestors have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
living history,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they would have never
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
that their great
next
generations will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
wonders. To illustrate, earlier,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to suffer their whole life or even
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
die
, without a proper treatment of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
diseases, Whereas,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
most of those conditions have been completely eradicated from their roots from our society,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the invention of various vaccinations (
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to both adults timely and even to kids as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
as they
are born
). A recent study by research done by All India
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
sciences department has shown that polio (a chronic disorder), which was most common in India, has
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
now
completely disappeared from the Indian population
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of its vaccination, which is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to an infant as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
as he
is born
till the child is 5 years of age.

Earlier, until
really
a long term,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
die
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of organ failures, which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
now
seems like
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
a past story. Scientific discoveries have made most organ replacements possible,
hence
, resulting in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
living longer healthier
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
. As per my personal experience, my great grandfather
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
died
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of heart blockage for seasons, whereas a few years ago, my 55 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
uncle had a heart transplant, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
now
he
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
happily
without any issue.
After all
, it's a blessing by the system.

To recapitulate, having mulled over above stated arguments and information, and deliberating all the facts
carefully
, it can
be deducted
that scientific growth is the biggest blessing to human life. I feel, we are fortunate to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in the world of opportunities created by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
art and its progression, where medicine has
incontrovertibly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
the quality and duration of a human life.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Some countries achieve international sports by building specialized facilities to train top athletes, instead of providing sports facilities that everyone can use. Do you think this is positive or negative development? v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
445 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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