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Modern technology now allows rapid and uncontrolled access to and exchange of information. Far from being beneficial, this is a danger to our societies. To what extent do you agree or disagree. v.1

Modern technology now allows rapid and uncontrolled access to and exchange of information. Far from being beneficial, this is a danger to our societies. v. 1
Nowadays, life is changing every minute. For many people, remaining the same is nearly a death to them. However, there are pros and cons to do this. In this essay, I will discuss some of the reasons why development is necessary and some of the challenges to be overcome. Let’s begin by looking at the advantages of modifying. One of the main positives of shift is that it brings comfort to the human’s soul. What I mean by this is that with the invention of different technologies, activity of the people is not the same anymore. For instance, in the past times, people cannot imagine flying in the sky. But the invention of the aeroplane had made it possible. Now people can travel to other countries in less time. So, it can be said that diversity results in good for growth by making it easier. Secondly, transformation leads to develop new ideas. Take mobile phones for an instance. One can contact any person anytime. In addition, it serves as a door for the technologies. Turning to the other side of the argument, some people believe that old things are losing their importance. To be more precise, people are busy with new developments while forgetting the previous ones. Let’s use cell phones as an example here. The excessive social networking is sabotaging the bond between families. This often leads to ignorance. Another issue is that every variation requires time for its application. Usually, they are complex and can be challenging if people do not get enough knowledge about them. All things considered, the change has advantages for the people who are willing to take it. Those who are trying to avoid it, they will remain far behind in the progressive world. Personally, I believe that the benefits in terms of ease and new developments eventually outweigh any negatives.
Nowadays, life is changing every minute. For
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, remaining the same is
nearly
a death to them.
However
, there are pros and cons to do this. In this essay, I will discuss
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
reasons why development is necessary and
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
challenges to
be overcome
.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Let
’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
by looking at the advantages of modifying. One of the main positives of shift is that it brings comfort to the human’s soul. What I mean by this is that with the invention of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
technologies, activity of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
is not the same anymore.
For instance
, in the past times,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
cannot imagine flying in the sky.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
the invention of the
Possible spelling mistake. 'aeroplane' is British English.
aeroplane
had made it possible.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can travel to other countries in less time.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, it can
be said
that
You are missing the word "of" between "diversity" and "results". Did you mean "diversity of results" or "diverse results"?
diversity results
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for growth by making it easier.

Secondly
, transformation leads to develop new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
. Take mobile phones for an instance. One can contact any person anytime.
In addition
, it serves as a door for the technologies.

Turning to the other side of the argument,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
things are losing their importance. To be more precise,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are busy with new developments while forgetting the previous ones.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Let
’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
cell phones as an example here. The excessive social networking is sabotaging the bond between families. This
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
leads to ignorance. Another issue is that every variation requires time for its application.
Usually
, they are complex and can be challenging if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
knowledge about them.

All things considered, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
has advantages for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are willing to take it. Those who are trying to avoid it, they will remain far behind in the progressive world.
Personally
, I believe that the benefits in terms of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
and new developments
eventually
outweigh any negatives.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
As a hawk flieth not high with one wing, even so a man reacheth not to excellence with one tongue.
Roger Ascham

IELTS essay Modern technology now allows rapid and uncontrolled access to and exchange of information. Far from being beneficial, this is a danger to our societies. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
307 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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