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SOME COUNTRIES ACHIEVE INTERNATIONAL SPORTING SUCCESS BY BUILDING SPECIALIZED FACILITY TO TRAIN TOP ATHLETES INSTEAD OF PROVIDING SPORT FACILITY THAT EVERYONE CAN USE. DO U THINK IT’S NEGATIVE/POSITIVE DEVELOPMENT? v.2

SOME COUNTRIES ACHIEVE INTERNATIONAL SPORTING SUCCESS BY BUILDING SPECIALIZED FACILITY TO TRAIN TOP ATHLETES INSTEAD OF PROVIDING SPORT FACILITY THAT EVERYONE CAN USE. DO U THINK IT’S NEGATIVE/POSITIVE DEVELOPMENT? v. 2
In the era of relentless competitiveness, preparing stellar athletes with satisfactory accommodations and other equipment is becoming critical for any nations. Nonetheless, some of them do not sufficiently deliver best facilities to the ordinary citizens. In my opinion, this trend should be supported and propelled owing to several reasons To begin with, vigorously economic countries are recommended to provide élite Olympic participants with desirable prerogatives on account of its long-term benefits. The more heavily invested the contestants are, the more experience they may acquire when participating in special training sessions with world-class experts. This can be the immeasurable advantage to the athletes to attain appreciated achievements, hence bringing tremendous prizes and money to invest in the junior classes eventually enhancing the national stature. Furthermore, the retired yet passionate top athletes can collaborate with developing sporting academy with a view to coaching youngsters who are keen on professional sports and creating a new competitive generation in the future. That is not to say this growing trend does not have any negative impact on the sporting industry in those oriented-invested nations. Since most inhabitants do not have adequate standardized sporting equipment, they will have less opportunity to elevate their skills quickly, hence being restrained at a certain level. Besides, that desirable attainment mostly comes to the privileged people may discourage the public to do sports frequently, thus preventing them from having a good health. In conclusion, in order to obtain fruitful results ultimately, countries in the world are suggested to continue facilitate the specialized development of top athletes.
In the era of relentless competitiveness, preparing stellar
athletes
with satisfactory accommodations and other equipment is becoming critical for any nations. Nonetheless,
some
of them do not
sufficiently
deliver best
facilities to the ordinary citizens. In my opinion, this trend should
be supported
and propelled owing to several
reasons


To
begin
with,
vigorously
economic countries
are recommended
to provide
élite
Olympic participants with desirable prerogatives on account of its long-term benefits. The more
heavily
invested the contestants are, the more experience they may acquire when participating in special training sessions with world-
class
experts. This can be the immeasurable advantage to the
athletes
to attain appreciated achievements,
hence
bringing tremendous prizes and money to invest in the junior classes
eventually
enhancing the national stature.
Furthermore
, the retired
yet
passionate top
athletes
can collaborate with developing sporting academy with a view to coaching youngsters who are keen on professional sports and creating a new competitive generation in the future.

That is
not to say this growing trend does not have any
negative
impact on the sporting industry in those oriented-invested nations. Since most inhabitants do not have adequate standardized sporting equipment, they will have less opportunity to elevate their
skills
quickly
,
hence
being restrained
at a certain level.
Besides
, that desirable attainment
mostly
comes
to the privileged
people
may discourage the public to do sports
frequently
,
thus
preventing them from having a
good
health.

In conclusion
, in order to obtain fruitful results
ultimately
, countries in the world
are suggested
to
continue facilitate
the specialized development of top
athletes
.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay SOME COUNTRIES ACHIEVE INTERNATIONAL SPORTING SUCCESS BY BUILDING SPECIALIZED FACILITY TO TRAIN TOP ATHLETES INSTEAD OF PROVIDING SPORT FACILITY THAT EVERYONE CAN USE. DO U THINK IT’S NEGATIVE/POSITIVE DEVELOPMENT? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
256 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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