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Some companies sponsor sports as a way to advertise themselves. Some people think it is good, while others think there are disadvantages to this. Discuss both sides and give your opinion. v.15

Some companies sponsor sports as a way to advertise themselves. Some people think it is good, while others think there are disadvantages to this. v. 15
Nowadays, a growing number of sports events organized in various parts of the world, the corporate have found a new medium to advertise their products as sponsorship. It is considered an excellent strategy by a certain section of the society, because it caters to the masses and is also valuable for the new businesses. However, others believe that it has a lot of demerits. In my opinion companies should sponsor the sports for their growth. There is a plethora of reason due to which companies are willing to sponsor the sports for their advertisements. Firstly, by doing this, the businessmen are able to make their products visible to a large number of people. For instance, Cricket has a huge fan-following in India due to which multiple companies bid for the team sponsorship. Secondly, sponsoring allows the newer firms to get visibility in an already over flooded market. To illustrate, by getting the sponsorship of a team in Kabbadi, any product may get the attention of the people, which it is not able to do otherwise. On the other hand, some people think becoming a sponsor is not a great idea. One of the major reason is that, in involves a huge expenditure. Other marketing strategies may be able to do the same work in small sum of money like distributing pamphlets, advertisement on radio and so on. Another main issue with sponsorship is that it will not be targeting the desired customer base. For example, a cooking oil hoarding in any stadium is not a viable option as the audience for this are mainly housewives. In conclusion, according to me there are both merits and drawbacks of becoming a sponsor for sports event as it covers many people at the same time and it is also beneficial for the companies who are trying to enter the market.
Nowadays, a growing number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
organized in various parts of the world, the corporate have found a new medium to advertise their products as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sponsorship
. It
is considered
an excellent strategy by a certain section of the society,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it caters to the masses and is
also
valuable for the new businesses.
However
, others believe that it has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
demerits. In my opinion
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sponsor
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
for their growth.

There is a plethora of reason due to which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
are willing to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sponsor
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
for their advertisements.
Firstly
, by doing this, the businessmen are able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their products visible to
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
For instance
, Cricket has a huge fan-following in India due to which multiple
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
bid for the team
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sponsorship
.
Secondly
, sponsoring
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
the newer firms to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
visibility in an already over flooded market. To illustrate, by getting the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sponsorship
of a team in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Kabbadi
, any product may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the attention of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, which it is not able to do
otherwise
.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
becoming a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sponsor
is not a great
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
. One of the major reason is that, in involves a huge expenditure. Other marketing strategies may be able to do the same work in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
sum of money like distributing pamphlets, advertisement on radio and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on. Another main issue with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sponsorship
is that it will not be targeting the desired customer base.
For example
, a cooking oil hoarding in any stadium is not a viable option as the audience for this are
mainly
housewives.

In conclusion
, according to me there are both merits and drawbacks of becoming a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sponsor
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
as it covers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
at the same time and it is
also
beneficial for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
who are trying to enter the market.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
You can never understand one language until you understand at least two.
Geoffrey Willans

IELTS essay Some companies sponsor sports as a way to advertise themselves. Some people think it is good, while others think there are disadvantages to this. v. 15

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
307 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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