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Some people believe that in order for a hobby to be enjoyable, it needs to be difficult in some way. Do you agree or disagree? v.7

Some people believe that in order for a hobby to be enjoyable, it needs to be difficult in some way. v. 7
It is considered by some people that challenging hobbies are enjoyable. In my own perspective, I disagree that recreational activities must be difficult in order to be pleasurable. To begin with, past time activities are entertaining even if it is not hard. That is to say that hobbies can be enjoyable regardless whether it is hard or easy to do. Although hobbies such as scuba diving can be an exciting to try, some individuals are more interested in simple recreation. For instance, older adults are inclined in reading books, magazines or bicycling. These are easy to do and does not need trainings compared to scuba diving. Hence, people still get the pleasure even in non-challenging activities. Moreover, people loved to have past time when shared with families. The bonding together is the most significant feeling for a person rather than choosing a difficult type of hobbies. In addition, almost all family members are capable of joining past time activities that are not complicated to do. For example, swimming is good for all ages, even to children compared to bungee jumping, which is a life-threatening kind of hobby. Thus, leisure activities that are not difficult to do are Finally, doing effortless kind of relaxation activities does not need any training requirements. Unlike challenging hobbies, there is no need for an extra effort to master a technique to try a specific activity. To illustrate, while skateboarding needs mastery of techniques in order to get used to the sport, jogging is more convenient to do, as it no need proper training. Therefore, it is more delightful to try some entertaining things when done with ease. In conclusion, I believe that it is not necessary to do challenging kind of hobby in order to achieve pleasure.
It
is considered
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
that challenging
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hobbies
are enjoyable. In my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
perspective, I disagree that recreational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be difficult in order to be pleasurable.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
Did you mean "pastime"?
past time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
are entertaining even if it is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
.
That is
to say that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hobbies
can be enjoyable regardless whether it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
or easy to do. Although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hobbies
such as scuba diving can be an exciting to try,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
individuals are more interested in simple recreation.
For instance
, older adults
are inclined
in reading books, magazines or bicycling. These are easy to do and does not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
trainings compared to scuba diving.
Hence
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
still
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the pleasure even in non-challenging activities.

Moreover
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
to have
Did you mean "pastime"?
past time
when shared with families. The bonding together is the most significant feeling for a person
rather
than choosing a difficult type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hobbies
.
In addition
, almost all family members are capable of joining
Did you mean "pastime"?
past time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
that are not complicated to do.
For example
, swimming is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for all ages, even to children compared to bungee jumping, which is a life-threatening kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hobby
.
Thus
, leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
that are not difficult to do are

Finally
, doing effortless kind of relaxation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
does not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
any training requirements. Unlike challenging
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hobbies
, there is no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
for an extra effort to master a technique to try a specific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
. To illustrate, while skateboarding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
mastery of techniques in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to the sport, jogging is more convenient to do, as it no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
proper training.
Therefore
, it is more delightful to try
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
entertaining things when done with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
.

In conclusion
, I believe that it is not necessary to do challenging kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hobby
in order to achieve pleasure.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that in order for a hobby to be enjoyable, it needs to be difficult in some way. v. 7

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
292 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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