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Does borrowing money harm friendship? Do you agree or disagree? v.1

Does borrowing money harm friendship? v. 1
Due to individuals’ unlimited want and desire, sometimes they loan money from their acquaintances. So, they could fulfil their needs. While most contend that borrowing funds inflict friendship, I repent that it is valuable. This essay will support why it is plausible to borrow money from our friends. One can think of various reasons why borrowing money from friends is detrimental. Firstly, it psychologically bothers individuals lending the money. For example, if a person lends money, he will worry if the other party will return it. As a result, they will be psychologically invested, and discrepancies in payment may miff them hence ruining relations. Secondly, the chances that the person receiving the payment not paying their debt is highly probable. There are many instances where people taking money are unable to pay their debt. However, it is beneficial to take a loan from colleagues. Since the interest rate of banks is usually high, and sometimes they would want collaterals, it is better to own it from friends instead. Similarly, in some emergencies, our colleagues will be easily accessible to lend us some money. For instance, if someone from a family member gets sick, going through all the legal process, and requesting money from banks may be an ordeal. As a result, our acquaintances are the one whom we can rely on. In conclusion, although asking for a loan from friends would psychologically bother them, they would not want risk involved, and may distort the relations, sometimes it is valuable. It is beneficial in case of emergencies, and when the cost of debt is high in banks. Therefore, I would personally ask my friends for loans in case of emergencies.
Due to individuals’ unlimited want and desire,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
loan
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
from their acquaintances.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, they could fulfil their needs. While most contend that borrowing funds inflict friendship, I repent that it is valuable. This essay will support why it is plausible to borrow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
from our friends.

One can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
of various reasons why borrowing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
is detrimental.
Firstly
, it
psychologically
bothers individuals lending the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
.
For example
, if a person lends
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
, he will worry if the other party will return it.
As a result
, they will be
psychologically
invested, and discrepancies in payment may miff them
hence
ruining relations.
Secondly
, the chances that the person receiving the payment not paying their debt is
highly
probable. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
instances where
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
taking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
are unable to pay their debt.

However
, it is beneficial to take a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
loan
from colleagues. Since the interest rate of banks is
usually
high, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
they would want collaterals, it is better to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
it from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
instead
.
Similarly
, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
emergencies, our colleagues will be
easily
accessible to lend us
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
.
For instance
, if someone from a family member
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
sick, going through all the legal process, and requesting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
from banks may be an ordeal.
As a result
, our acquaintances are the one whom we can rely on.

In conclusion
, although asking for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
loan
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
would
psychologically
bother them, they would not want
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
involved, and may distort the relations,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
it is valuable. It is beneficial in case of emergencies, and when the cost of debt is high in banks.
Therefore
, I would
personally
ask my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
loans
in case of emergencies.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Does borrowing money harm friendship? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
279 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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