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Some companies sponsor sports as a way to advertise themselves. Some people think it is good, while others think there are disadvantages to this. Discuss both sides and give your opinion v.7

Some companies sponsor sports as a way to advertise themselves. Some people think it is good, while others think there are disadvantages to this. 7
These days, many multinational organizations- in order to advertise their products- have started sponsoring various professional athletes and sports teams. Some people argue this intervention of private firms in the form of a sponsor will affect sports and may even politicize it. Others do not agree with this notion. This essay will illustrate both of the arguments and my personal opinion. On one hand, it is thought that sponsors are necessary for sports boards and authorities in order to improve their infrastructure. These days, various private organizations are injecting a considerable amount of money into sports, which, as a result, is improving the existing facilities and encouraging youngsters to turn to sports. For instance, Indian cricket team, which is now being ranked as the number one cricket team in the world, owe their success to private cricket leagues which could only be organized with the help of multinational sponsors. They opine that sponsors have helped their cricket board generate revenue which is being spent on enhancing cricketing facilities in terms of building new stadiums and giving cricket players decent wages. On the other hand, detractors put forward the argument that allowing multinational firms to sponsor sports will increase their influence due to which management of sports teams would have to capitulate to their undue demands as well. For instance, MRF, a major sponsor of ICC( international cricket council), using their financial influence, has forced ICC to change the venue of the world cup 2007 which was to be organized in Pakistan but owing to their personal disputes with the government of Pakistan, ICC had to shift the venue. Consequently, few spectators turned up on grounds to see these matches which had resulted in a significant loss in revenue. Another worrisome aspect of having sponsors in sports is their effect on the performance of an individual player who would be lured towards money and take interest in unnecessary activities such as participating in fashion shows organized by sponsors. As a result, these players may lose their interest in sports which could ruin their career. In conclusion, although many would argue that having a sponsor in a sports team could help them financially as well as improving sporting infrastructure which would encourage people to engage in sports activities. However, I believe that allowing these multinational firms to be the sponsor of a professional sports team would create their influence in several decision-making policies and could potentially affect the performance of an individual player as well.
These days,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
multinational
organizations- in order to advertise their products- have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
sponsoring various professional athletes and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teams
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
argue this intervention of private firms in the form of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sponsor
will affect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
and may even politicize it. Others do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this notion. This essay will illustrate both of the arguments and my personal opinion.

On one hand, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sponsors
are necessary for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
boards and authorities in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their infrastructure. These days, various private organizations are injecting a considerable amount of money into
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
, which,
as a result
, is improving the existing facilities and encouraging youngsters to turn to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
.
For instance
, Indian
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cricket
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
, which is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
being ranked
as the number one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cricket
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
in the world, owe their success to private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cricket
leagues which could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
be organized
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
multinational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sponsors
. They opine that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sponsors
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cricket
board generate revenue which is
being spent
on enhancing cricketing facilities in terms of building new stadiums and giving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cricket
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
players
decent wages.

On the other hand
, detractors put forward the argument that allowing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
multinational
firms to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sponsor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
will increase their influence due to which management of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teams
would
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
capitulate to their undue demands
as well
.
For instance
, MRF, a major
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sponsor
of ICC
Don't put a space after the opening parenthesis
(
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cricket
council), using their financial influence, has forced ICC to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
the venue of the world cup 2007 which was to
be organized
in Pakistan
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
owing to their personal disputes with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
of Pakistan, ICC had to shift the venue.
Consequently
, few spectators turned up on grounds to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
these matches which had resulted in a significant loss in revenue. Another worrisome aspect of having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sponsors
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
is their effect on the performance of an individual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
player
who would
be lured
towards money and take interest in unnecessary activities such as participating in fashion
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
organized by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sponsors
.
As a result
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
players
may lose their interest in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
which could ruin their career.

In conclusion
, although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
would argue that having a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sponsor
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them
financially
as well
as improving sporting infrastructure which would encourage
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to engage in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
activities.
However
, I believe that allowing these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
multinational
firms to be the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sponsor
of a professional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
would create their influence in several decision-making policies and could
potentially
affect the performance of an individual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
player
as well
.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
42Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Some companies sponsor sports as a way to advertise themselves. Some people think it is good, while others think there are disadvantages to this. 7

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
413 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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