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1248 Describe an important message you received by phone email or text You should say What the message was Who it was from What you did after you got this message And explain why the message was important v.1

1248 Describe an important message you received by phone email or text You should say What the message was Who it was from What you did after you got this message And explain why the message was important v. 1
Nowadays, the world’s population has been increased drastically, that’s the way the some people believe that to provide rehabilitation to them in the countryside is not a good option. In my opinion, I support this as the countryside is a source for the food of the people and home for the animals. To begin with, one of the important reasons to prevent the countryside is that it provides a space for the agriculture where food are grown which will be served to the person living in the urban areas. This area will be used for building of a new home then this growing of crops will be shifted to some other area; it may increase the cost of crops and vegetables. For instance, Research conducted shows that those urban areas whose nearby region does not contain the countryside than person can get food in such a place is costly. As a result, countryside provides the food source to the nearest urban area, so people can live a healthy and happy life. Secondly, such places are the home for the animals where they can live and get their food easily, so there is no danger to their survival. But if such places are used for the new home, then there is no place for their living and they start to enter the cities where people lives which will create a situation which generate danger for both of them. For example, research conducted shows that wild animals number has been detrimental because there would be no space available for their living. At last, to maintain an ecosystem the countryside plays an important role which helps to human as well the animals. To conclude, while in the urban areas there is no space for the new homes so the countryside is the best option, but the countryside can be used as to grow the crop and animals to live then it would be best utilized. The government should also support this activity.
Nowadays, the world’s population has
been increased
drastically
, that’s the way the
Did you mean "same"?
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that to provide rehabilitation to them in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countryside
is not a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
option. In my opinion, I support this as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countryside
is a source for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and home for the animals.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, one of the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
reasons to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countryside
is that it provides a space for the agriculture where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
are grown
which will
be served
to the person living in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for building of a new home then this growing of crops will
be shifted
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
; it may increase the cost of crops and vegetables.
For instance
, Research conducted
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
whose nearby region does not contain the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countryside
than person can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
in such a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
is costly.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countryside
provides the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
source to the nearest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
a healthy and happy life.

Secondly
, such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
are the home for the animals where they can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
easily
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
there is no
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
to their survival.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
if such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for the new home, then there is no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
for their
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
living and
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
to enter the cities where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
lives
which will create a situation which generate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
for both of them.
For example
, research conducted
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that wild animals number has been detrimental
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there would be no space available for their living. At last, to maintain an ecosystem the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countryside
plays an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to human
as well
the animals.

To conclude
, while in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
there is no space for the new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countryside
is the best option,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countryside
can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
as to grow the crop and animals to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
then it would be best utilized. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should
also
support this activity.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay 1248 Describe an important message you received by phone email or text You should say What the message was Who it was from What you did after you got this message And explain why the message was important v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
329 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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