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Some companies and organizations require their employees to wear uniform. What are the advantages and disadvantages of wearing uniform? v.5

Some companies and organizations require their employees to wear uniform. What are the advantages and disadvantages of wearing uniform? v. 5
Some employers are making a prerequisite to wear uniform for their workers. This is because it will create a better working environment, while, this will also take away their freedom of their own preferences in choosing what to wear. The jobs with appropriate uniform will not only look good, but also form a working environment. This will allow employees to perform a lot faster and effectively. This means they will be completely out of distraction and continue to focus on their work. For example, a recent survey found that companies like Microsoft have their efficiency boosted by 20% among their employees because of the uniforms. As a result, it will be beneficial to the company making their task much easier and reduce the amount of hassels in their department. On the other hand, compulsory uniform will take away the rights of basic preferences. This is to say that the working people will not have any right to choose their own preferable cloths. Furthermore, they will have to obey the rules of their office or job. For instance, a study in 1970 found that 50% of Americans dislike having to wear their work attire. This could mean that the individuals are not used to wearing the same cloths regularly for a long period of time than a shorter one. In conclusion, companies with uniform will make their employees work productively and it also takes their right to wear whatever they like while working in their offices.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
employers are making a prerequisite to wear
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
uniform
for their workers. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it will create a better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
environment, while, this will
also
take away their freedom of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
preferences in choosing what to wear.

The jobs with appropriate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
uniform
will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
look
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
form a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
environment. This will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
employees to perform a lot faster and
effectively
. This means they will be completely out of distraction and continue to focus on their work.
For example
, a recent survey found that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
like Microsoft have their efficiency boosted by 20% among their employees
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
uniforms
.
As a result
, it will be beneficial to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
making their task much easier and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the amount of
Possible spelling mistake found.
hassels
in their department.

On the other hand
, compulsory
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
uniform
will take away the rights of basic preferences. This is to say that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
will not have any right to choose their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
preferable cloths.
Furthermore
, they will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
obey the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
of their office or job.
For instance
, a study in 1970 found that 50% of Americans dislike having to wear their work attire. This could mean that the individuals are not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to wearing the same cloths
regularly
for a long period of time than a shorter one.

In conclusion
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
uniform
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their employees work
productively
and it
also
takes their right to wear whatever they like while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
in their offices.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
Language comes first. It’s not that language grows out of consciousness, if you haven’t got language, you can’t be conscious.
Alan Moore

IELTS essay Some companies and organizations require their employees to wear uniform. What are the advantages and disadvantages of wearing uniform? v. 5

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
245 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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