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Some children can learn efficiently by watching TV. Therefore, they should be encouraged to watch TV both at home and at school. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.1

Some children can learn efficiently by watching TV. Therefore, they should be encouraged to watch TV both at home and at school. v. 1
TV, as a learning tool, is quite useful if children watch the right programmes for a certain duration of time each day. Though some people regard watching the TV as a waste of time, I do believe that this can be a very powerful learning tool for children and that is why they should be allowed to watch TV programmes both at home and school, but within the teacher's and parent's watch. To begin with, though I am no longer a student, I can still learn better by watching TV rather than reading books. Whenever I tune on to the History Channel, BBC or National Geographic Channel, I can learn new things. This is also true for the school going children. My younger brother, who is a college student with history major, heavily relies on History Channel documentaries to enhance his knowledge in history. TV programmes are the audio-visual presentation of an event, story or fact and thus have lasting impressions on our brain. If the right programmes are chosen for a child, he/she will learn faster by watching TV. For instance, one of our neighbours allow her 3 years old daughter to watch Rhymes on the internet TV channels and she can recite most of those rhymes. According to her mother, the girl has learned more effectively by watching those animated cartoons that have the rhymes than reading books. Since TV is a powerful learning tool, why not use it in a school for educational purpose? On the contrary, people who opine that TV programmes are a waste of valuable time has their own reasons. People cannot control the time they spend on watching TV. Moreover, many TV programmes are not suitable for the children and thus can have detrimental effects on their immature mind. They can mimic the bad habits of their favourite heroes and can become violent in many cases. However, this can only happen when we don't have control over our children's' activity. For instance, scientific research shows that a certain amount of chocolate is good for a child's health and cognitive development. However, if a child eats too much chocolate, he will surely suffer from many problems. In the same way, certain hours of TV watching can actually help students learn many things but uncontrolled TV watching habit would actually ruin his life. In conclusion, as parents and teachers, we must pick the suitable and educational programmes for our kids both in school and at home. My final opinion is that TV is a good pedagogical tool and hence its use in the school for both educational and recreational purposes should be allowed.
TV, as a learning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tool
, is quite useful if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
the right
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
for a certain duration of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
each day. Though
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
regard watching the TV as a waste of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, I do believe that this can be a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
powerful learning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tool
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and
that is
why they should be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
TV
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
both at home and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
within the teacher's and parent's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, though I am no longer a student, I can
still
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
better by watching TV
rather
than reading books. Whenever I tune on to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
History
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Channel
, BBC or National Geographic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Channel
, I can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
new things. This is
also
true for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
going
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. My younger brother, who is a college student with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
major,
heavily
relies on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
History
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Channel
documentaries to enhance his knowledge in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
. TV
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
are the audio-visual presentation of an
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
, story or fact and
thus
have lasting impressions on our brain. If the right
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
are chosen
for a child, he/she will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
faster by watching TV.
For instance
, one of our
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbours' is British English.
neighbours
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
her 3 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
daughter to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
Rhymes on the internet TV
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
channels and
she can recite most of those rhymes. According to her mother, the girl has learned more
effectively
by watching those animated cartoons that have the rhymes than reading books. Since TV is a powerful learning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tool
, why not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
for educational purpose?

On the contrary
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who opine that TV
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
are a waste of valuable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
has their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
reasons.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
cannot control the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
they spend on watching TV.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
TV
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
are not suitable for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and
thus
can have detrimental effects on their immature mind. They can mimic the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
habits of their
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourite' is British English.
favourite
heroes and can become violent in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
cases.
However
, this can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
happen when we don't have control over our children's' activity.
For instance
, scientific research
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that a certain amount of chocolate is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for a child's health and cognitive development.
However
, if a child eats too much chocolate, he will
surely
suffer from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
problems.
In the same way
, certain hours of TV watching can actually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
things
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
uncontrolled TV watching habit would actually ruin his life.

In conclusion
, as parents and teachers, we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
pick the suitable and educational
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
for our kids both in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
and at home. My final opinion is that TV is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
pedagogical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tool
and
hence
its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
for both educational and recreational purposes should be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
.
18Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
29Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Mistakes

IELTS essay Some children can learn efficiently by watching TV. Therefore, they should be encouraged to watch TV both at home and at school. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
438 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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