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Nowadays, we are living in a throw-away society. What are its causes and what are its problems? What could be done to address this issue? v.2

Nowadays, we are living in a throw-away society. What are its causes and what are its problems? What could be done to address this issue? v. 2
Nowadays, we have adopted the throw-away lifestyle and over-consumption and excessive production of short-lived or disposable items is a global phenomenon which is making the condition even worse. Consumerism, rapid advancement of technology, changing lifestyle and globalisation are some of the main reasons which are contributing to this phenomenon even more. The effect of this trend is so extraordinary and deep that it will someday challenge our own existence and implementation of effective measures  should be immediately taken. Consumerism is a social and economic ideology that encourages people to acquire more products and services in an ever-increasing amount. Our materialistic lifestyle fuels this habit and we change our cell phones, cars and other household equipment more frequently than ever. Advertising plays a major role in creating a consumerist society and we are never contented with the things we have and want to acquire more than we need. Shopping is no longer a necessity and has turned out to be an activity for many. Thus we are producing an overwhelming amount of  wastages and a little effort has been in place to recycle many of our used items. The rapid advancement of technology often forces us to buy latest products as new products have better features than the one we own. The rise of the middle-income people globally and their desire to mimic rich people and adopt a technology centric lifestyle also the reasons for the increasing waste productions as a result of our throw-away lifestyle. Our traditional lifestyle and skills are almost gone and we want to buy everything rather than creating them. For instance, the number of people who rely on canned and packet food rather than cooking at home is a great example that shows the paradigm shift towards a busy and ready-made social lifestyle. Finally, the globalisation has immensely contributed towards our inclination to a throw-away society we are living in. The problems that the throw-away society and consumerism tendency create are overwhelming. This is a degradation of human moral as a massive number of poor people are starving, on one hand, million tonnes of foods are being wasted in few countries on the other hand. The toxic waste and chemical garbage are polluting our environment while we are remaining busy to buy more electronic products. The global warming, temperature rise, extinction of many species are just the beginning and if we fail to take effective measures to stop this heinous trend, we will be destroying our future. There are many steps that should be immediately in place to address this issue. Non-recyclable packets, bags and goods should be restricted as much as possible. The environment friendly goods should be manufactured and used by people and elements like plastic bags should be totally banned. Every household wastes should be classified as recyclable and non-recyclable and recyclable waste should be used to produce new products rather than throwing them away. The government, as well as individuals' cumulative efforts to reduce the wastage production and to save the environment, should be in place. To conclude, no doubt our ignorance and desire to have more have contributed towards the creation of a throwaway society. Advancement of technology, globalisation, social and economic structure have all fueled this trend even faster. But the time has come for us to step forward and think about the future of the mother planet and take steps to revert the damage.
Nowadays, we have adopted the throw-away
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyle
and over-consumption and excessive production of short-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
or disposable items is a global phenomenon which is making the condition even worse. Consumerism, rapid advancement of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
, changing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyle
and
Possible spelling mistake. 'globalisation' is British English.
globalisation
are
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
main reasons which are contributing to this phenomenon even more. The effect of this trend is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
extraordinary and deep that it will someday challenge our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
existence and implementation of effective measures
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
should be immediately taken.

Consumerism is a social and economic ideology that encourages
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to acquire more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
and services in an ever-increasing amount. Our materialistic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyle
fuels this
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
habit and
we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
our cell phones, cars and other household equipment more
frequently
than ever. Advertising plays a major role in creating a consumerist
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
society and
we are never contented with the things we have and want to acquire more than we need. Shopping is no longer a necessity and has turned out to be an activity for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Thus
we are producing an overwhelming amount of
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
Possible spelling mistake found.
wastages
and a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
effort has been in place to recycle
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
items. The rapid advancement of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
forces us to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
A determiner is probably missing here: "the latest".
latest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
as new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
have better features than the one we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
. The rise of the middle-income
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
globally and their desire to mimic rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and adopt a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
centric
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyle
also
the reasons for the increasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
waste
productions
as a result
of our throw-away
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyle
. Our traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyle
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
are almost
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
gone and
we want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
everything
rather
than creating them.
For instance
, the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who rely on canned and packet food
rather
than cooking at home is a great example that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
the paradigm shift towards a busy and ready-made social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyle
.
Finally
, the
Possible spelling mistake. 'globalisation' is British English.
globalisation
has
immensely
contributed towards our inclination to a throw-away
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
we are living in.

The problems that the throw-away
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
and consumerism tendency create are overwhelming. This is a degradation of human moral as a massive number of poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are starving, on one hand,
Use "a million" or use a number before 'million'.
million
tonnes of foods are
being wasted
in few countries
on the other hand
. The toxic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
waste
and chemical garbage are polluting our environment while we are remaining busy to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
more electronic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
. The global warming, temperature rise, extinction of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
species are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
the beginning and if we fail to take effective measures to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
this heinous trend, we will be destroying our future.

There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
steps that should be immediately in place to address this issue. Non-recyclable packets, bags and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
should
be restricted
as much as possible. The environment friendly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
should
be manufactured
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and elements like plastic bags should be
totally
banned. Every household
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wastes
should
be classified
as recyclable and non-recyclable and recyclable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
waste
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to produce new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
rather
than throwing them away. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
,
as well
as individuals' cumulative efforts to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the wastage production and to save the environment, should be in place.

To conclude
, no doubt our ignorance and desire to have more have contributed towards the creation of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
throwaway
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
. Advancement of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
,
Possible spelling mistake. 'globalisation' is British English.
globalisation
, social and economic structure have all fueled this trend even faster.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
the time has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
for us to step forward and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about the future of the mother planet and take steps to revert the damage.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
31Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13Mistakes

IELTS essay Nowadays, we are living in a throw-away society. What are its causes and what are its problems? What could be done to address this issue? v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
565 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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