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Old generations often hold some traditional ideas on the correct way of life, thinking and behaviour. However, some people think that it is not helpful for the young generations to prepare for modern life in the future. What’s your opinion? v.1

Old generations often hold some traditional ideas on the correct way of life, thinking and behaviour. However, some people think that it is not helpful for the young generations to prepare for modern life in the future. What’s your opinion? v. 1
As the world is rapidly developing in this era of ever evolving technology, mindsets of old generations struggle to adapt to the current changes. People from these generations hold firmly to long-established lifestyle and expect the youth to follow it without considering thoroughly how it might trouble them. Personally, I am convinced that although the youngsters should preserve the traditional values, most of the conventional ideas are inappropriate to apply in the modern time. To begin with, some traditional ways of thinking can go as far as to negate recent revolutionary conceptions. The most obvious example to look at is the violation of gender equity. In some countries, especially the Asian ones, women are normally considered to be inferior to men in several aspects. Not only are sons preferably given the educational opportunity, but daughters are also considered as the misfortune in some rural areas. Such norm has but great negative impacts on young generations since they are brought up with wrong ideas how life works. Another, equally important, aspect is that prejudice might intervene in one’s individual private life. The choice of educational field, career and life partner are quite different than the past centuries and the old generation will have contradicting ideas about those important issues. Thus new generations should be allowed to choose those important aspects of their life as long as they are capable of taking decisions. The older generations have many false prejudices and superstitions which should not be passed to the new generations. To sum up, it is undeniable that some traditional ideas have timeless validity, as they come from long-life practice and experiences and these should be embraced and followed. Nevertheless, from my perspective, many conventional concepts are out-of-date and they should be discarded to keep our society cohesive.
As the world is
rapidly
developing in this era of ever evolving technology, mindsets of
old
generations struggle to adapt to the
current
changes
.
People
from these generations hold
firmly
to long-established lifestyle and
expect
the youth to follow it without considering
thoroughly
how it might trouble them.
Personally
, I
am convinced
that although the youngsters should preserve the traditional values, most of the conventional
ideas
are inappropriate to apply in the modern time.

To
begin
with,
some
traditional ways of thinking can go as far as to negate recent revolutionary conceptions. The most obvious example to look at is the violation of gender equity. In
some
countries,
especially
the Asian ones, women are
normally
considered to be inferior to
men
in several aspects. Not
only
are sons
preferably
given
the educational opportunity,
but
daughters are
also
considered as the misfortune in
some
rural areas. Such norm has
but
great
negative
impacts on young generations since they
are brought
up with
wrong
ideas
how
life
works.

Another,
equally
important
, aspect is that prejudice might intervene in one’s individual private
life
. The choice of educational field, career and
life
partner are quite
different
than
the past centuries and the
old
generation will have contradicting
ideas
about those
important
issues.
Thus
new generations should be
allowed
to choose those
important
aspects of their
life
as long as they are capable of taking decisions. The older generations have
many
false prejudices and superstitions which should not
be passed
to the new generations.

To sum up, it is undeniable that
some
traditional
ideas
have timeless validity, as they
come
from long-life practice and experiences and these should
be embraced
and followed.
Nevertheless
, from my perspective,
many
conventional concepts are
out-of-date and
they should
be discarded
to
keep
our society cohesive.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Old generations often hold some traditional ideas on the correct way of life, thinking and behaviour. However, some people think that it is not helpful for the young generations to prepare for modern life in the future. What’s your opinion? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
296 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
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  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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