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Some businesses observe that people who just finished college have a hard time interacting with colleagues in working as a team. What do you think are the reasons behind this? What are your suggestions to address this problem? v.1

Some businesses observe that people who just finished college have a hard time interacting with colleagues in working as a team. What do you think are the reasons behind this? What are your suggestions to address this problem? v. 1
Working as a team member requires some extra skills and experiences and the fresh graduates from the colleges or universities often find it hard to work an efficient team member. In my opinion, this possibly happens because of the lack of professionalism & experiences and since the newly graduates switch from the university environment to a totally new job environment. The team members of a business, most of the times work to achieve a goal and work accordingly. Experience as a team member of a large organisation is required to fully understand the responsibilities and spirit of a team. In a team, most of the members work as a whole rather than working individually and sometimes have no freedom to work spontaneously.   In the university perimeters, students lead a free academic life and have little experience in working in a team. They are often given assignments that require more than one students to work together but this is totally different compared to working in a business organizations, because in the university they are mostly friends or classmates and in an office team there are superiors and the fresh graduate often find themselves in a situation where they think they are not treated properly. They often try to implement their own ideas and as a team member, it is sometimes welcomed but not often. There are some other reasons as well. For example, fresh graduates often think that their superiors are just trying to boss around them and have little friendly attitudes. Another reason is that switching from one environment to completely different one is some time distressful and it takes times to adopt to the new environment. But the college or university graduate students are often placed in a team as a member from the very beginning of their joining date. I think they should be given some time to adjust the working environment and to find themselves comfortable in the new environment.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Working
as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
member
requires
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extra
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experiences
and the fresh
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduates
from the colleges or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
often
find it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
an efficient
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
member
. In my opinion, this
possibly
happens
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the lack of professionalism &
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experiences
and since the
newly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduates
switch from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
to a
totally
new job environment.

The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
of a business, most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
to achieve a goal and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
accordingly
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Experience
as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
member
of a large
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisation' is British English.
organisation
is required
to
fully
understand the responsibilities and spirit of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
. In a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
, most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
as a whole
rather
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
individually
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
have no freedom to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
spontaneously
.
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
In the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
perimeters, students lead a free academic life and have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
. They are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
assignments that require more than
Don't use the number 'one' with plural words. Did you mean "one student", "a student", or simply "students"?
one students
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
together
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
this is
totally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
compared to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
in a business
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "organization"?
organizations
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
they are
mostly
friends or classmates and in an office
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
there are superiors and the fresh
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
often
find themselves in a situation where they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
they are not treated
properly
. They
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
often
try to implement their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
and as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
member
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
welcomed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
.

There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
other reasons
as well
.
For example
, fresh
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduates
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that their superiors are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
trying to boss around them and have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
friendly attitudes. Another reason is that switching from one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
to completely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
one is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
distressful and it takes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
to
Did you mean "adapt to"?
adopt to
the new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
the college or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduate
students are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
often
placed in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
member
from the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
beginning of their joining date. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
they should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to adjust the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
and to find themselves comfortable in the new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
.
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
57Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes

IELTS essay Some businesses observe that people who just finished college have a hard time interacting with colleagues in working as a team. What do you think are the reasons behind this? What are your suggestions to address this problem? v. 1

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
323 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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