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Some business observe that new employees who just graduated from a college or university seem to like interpersonal skills needed for communication with their colleagues. What could be reason for this? What solution can help address this problem? v.2

Some business observe that new employees who just graduated from a college or university seem to like interpersonal skills needed for communication with their colleagues. What could be reason for this? What solution can help address this problem? v. 2
Interpersonal skills breakthrough communication gap. One of the most controversial issue today relates to that, newly graduated employees have lack of interpersonal skills or not? In the upcoming piece of essay, I will explore its reasons and give some relevant measures for the given topic. The first step to understand that, why new employees do not get involved with their colleagues rapidly? The prominent reason is self centred employees. As interpersonal skills are really important for an employee for the stability of their mind. Similarly, communication is also an significant factor which should be considered by employees, but there are some which do not make efforts from there side to talk at first with other employees which can be a problem. As every business must need coordination and cooperation between the employees and that is not possible without communication. Moreover, a business can face a lot of difficult situation just because of this mismanagement. A solution can be that, company in which they all are working should throw an orientation party for interaction among the new and earlier employees for better outcome. The second foremost reason is conflicts among employees. This is a major reason for lack of communication because everyone have their own nature and sometimes, they judge people incorrectly that might lead to argument or misunderstandings between the colleagues. Hence, it is significant for the employees to make good interaction to others to run the management on a progressive track. A measure to deny these issues can be, that company could take initiative and give different team works to their employees which will be either for better understanding or communication. In conclusion, I would like to say that, as we all know that, a business can not run without efforts from employees, thus if every individual will be down to earth and have a positive spirit towards others than it will neither harm the company nor the employees.
Interpersonal
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "skills'" or "skill's"?
skills
breakthrough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
gap. One of the most controversial issue
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
relates to that,
newly
graduated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
have lack of interpersonal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
or not? In the upcoming piece of essay, I will explore its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
and give
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
relevant measures for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
topic.

The
first
step to understand that, why new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
involved with their colleagues
rapidly
? The prominent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
is
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
self centred
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
. As interpersonal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
are
really
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employee
for the stability of their mind.
Similarly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
is
also
Use "a" instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
an
significant factor which should
be considered
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
which do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
efforts from there side to talk at
first
with other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
which can be a problem. As every business
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
need coordination and cooperation between the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
and
that is
not possible without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
.
Moreover
, a business can face
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
difficult situation
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
because of this
mismanagement. A solution can be that,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
in which they all are working should throw an orientation party for interaction among the new and earlier
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
for better outcome.

The second foremost
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
is conflicts among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
. This is a major
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
for lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
everyone
The pronoun 'everyone' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "has", "had".
have
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
nature and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
, they judge
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
incorrectly
that might lead to argument or misunderstandings between the colleagues.
Hence
, it is significant for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
interaction to others to run the management on a progressive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
track
. A measure to deny these issues can be, that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
could take initiative and give
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
team works to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
which will be either for better understanding or communication.

In conclusion
, I would like to say that, as we all know that, a business can not run without efforts from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
,
thus
if every individual will be down to earth and have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
spirit towards others than it will neither harm the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
nor the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
21Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay Some business observe that new employees who just graduated from a college or university seem to like interpersonal skills needed for communication with their colleagues. What could be reason for this? What solution can help address this problem? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
320 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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